What are the reasons of divorce?

A wife and a husband who are thinking of divorce

The “divorce epidemic” is by no means confined to one country. Many are puzzled at why it keeps rising year after year.

While this not a comprehensive list, but here are some of the factors that could be contributing to the problem:

Liberal laws

An important reason why so many marriage partners rush to the divorce courts, is the ease with which a marriage can be dissolved.

Some parts of the world now have a “no-fault” arrangement. If a couple insist that their differences are “irreconcilable,” their marriage can quickly be dissolved.

Many countries have now new laws that are very liberal, granting divorce, not only on the major grounds, but even on the basis of mutual consent by both mates.

The same holds for those who want to get into the marriage union.

Have you noticed, too, how easy it is, in many places, to get married?

As a result, thousands of adolescents have rushed into marriage, only to be disillusioned when faced with responsibilities that they were not prepared to undertake. Many seek escape through the divorce courts.

Changing Attitudes And Reasons for Marrying

In recent years a changed attitude toward morals is, in many cases, another factor leading to divorce. In times past most people viewed extramarital sexual activity as a violation of marriage vows.

Today, however, an increasing number of persons have no qualms whatsoever about committing adultery.

In fact there are internet sites now which aid and offer advice on how this can be done discreetly.

At times divorce can even be related to why persons marry in the first place. Reason Writer Sydney J. Harris observes:

More persons marry for negative reasons than for positive ones—and negative reasons are incapable of holding any relationship together. . . . More couples, for instance, marry out of than into. They marry out of loneliness, fear, desperation, a bleak home life, a sense of insecurity. They are escaping from situations. Many are trying to escape their own feeling of isolation or alienation.”

Are you thinking of getting married soon? Have you analyzed your reasons for taking this step, and are you sure that you are equipped to take on the responsibilities of marriage and parenthood?

Before deciding to marry, it is wise to talk matters over seriously with your prospective mate and to seek the guidance of persons who have had long experience with marriage.

Breakdown of Communication

The wife of a schoolteacher explains why a void developed in her life:

[My husband’s] world begins and ends at the high school, and while I’m interested in his work and want to share everything with him, I discovered shortly after our second daughter was born that I needed other adult conversation. . . . Oh, sure, when we're making love, I feel very close to [my husband], but the rest of the time I feel that his mind is in a textbook or a classroom and that I’m just an animated decoration around the house.”

The problem here was a basic one—lack of communication. This was found at the top of two lists of things that cause marital problems.

When communication breaks down, other problems crop up too, such as whether to have children, how to bring them up and money problems.

Everyone Wants More

Have you noticed the increasing emphasis on self that permeates modern thinking? “Marriages are succumbing,” notes Erica Abeel, “because only a perfect relationship will do. No one wants to settle or accommodate—everyone wants more.

Unfortunately for a marriage, though, ‘more’ often means more for me rather than more for us. And a wife may have a very different conception of ‘more’ than her husband.”

Current emphasis on self deceives many unwary marriage partners into thinking that they are missing out on the ultimate in personal satisfaction.

They become “bored” with their responsibilities at work and in the home.

Then arises the demand for more satisfaction during sexual relations, for “more fulfillment” in everything. And what happens if these demands are not met? It is considered courteous to head for the divorce court.

“For a lot of people,” explains one writer, “divorce is a sort of Ph.D., a point of growth and self-analysis and change, a thumbing-of-nose at marriage.”

Other reasons that may be cited for divorce are unfulfilled emotional needs, constant argument, problems with in-laws and physical abuse. Whatever the reason, the divorce avalanche seem unstoppable.