How to stop my boyfriend abusing me?

A girl being abused by her boyfriend outdoors

Do you feel trapped in an abusive relationship with your boyfriend?" 

Here is some practical advice that can help you resolve the problem:

1. Try talking matters out

When tempers are down try and talk matters out. Let him know how it is affecting you mentally and physically.

Obviously, your boyfriend will not change unless he clearly understands that he has a serious problem.

Unfortunately, as one counselor observed, many men who use abusive speech “do not view their behavior as abuse at all.

To these men, such actions are entirely normal and are the ‘natural way' to treat a woman.”

Thus, many will not see the need to change until the situation is straightforwardly brought to their attention. If he responds positively, then he will be remorseful and be ready to make a amend. 

On the other hand, if unapologetic or even reacts more angrily, this is an early indication of his unwillingness to change.

Whatever the case, set out to him plainly that your future relations is conditioned on him change his attitude.

2. Do not be deceived

Although in the beginning he may express remorse, only time will tell if his remorse is genuine.

If sincere he will be willing to seek help in order to salvage the relationship, after his own efforts prove to be ineffective.

Finally, after allowing sufficient time, you will have to decide whether to end or continue with the relationship.

3. Seek help and support

In cases of physical violence and threats, your own efforts may not be effective as you may be in harm’s way.

Therefore, it is prudent you seek help either from your parents or a counselor to give you practical advice on how to deal with the situation.

In cases of trauma, it is advisable you to be treated by a physician or a qualified mental-health worker.

4. Repair your self-worth

After endure this emotionally draining experience, you will need time to heal the emotional wounds.

During this period, participate in activities that make you happy e.g. dancing, music, painting, etc.

Furthermore, don't isolate yourself, on the contrary fellowship with people who care about you.