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Fear caused by phobia.


Research indicates that phobias may develop for a number of reasons.

A panic attack, for example, can follow a traumatic experience or loss of a loved one.

On the other hand, many scientists believe that phobias are learned from others.

By observing their parents, children can, as they grow up, learn to react to parental phobias in a similar way.

In some instances, however, as the child matures, the fear can be transferred from its original source and manifest itself in a different situation.

Helen, had nearly died in a vacation-trailer fire some months earlier.

Helen admits:
I have had a tendency toward mild phobias for as long as I can remember.”

Was the experience something learned, or perhaps transferred, in her case?

There is really no sure way of telling.

A phobia that originates in a specific experience is more easily identified.

If, for example, a child is badly frightened by a dog or bitten by one, such an event can develop into cynophobia, a fear of dogs, in later life.

Similarly, aquaphobia (or, hydrophobia), a fear of water, may stem from an experience of nearly drowning.

It is helpful to be able to identify them.

So first of all, let us look at some of them.


Social and simple phobias



Do you know people who are afraid to sign their name in public because they are terrified their hand will tremble?

Or some who are afraid to speak up in public or to attend a party?

Such problems are examples of social phobias.

They are induced by the presence of other people.

Simple phobias relate to specific objects or situations, such as the fear of dogs or of water.

An excessive fear of cats, mice, or spiders is also commonplace, as is a fear of heights.

In this same category doctors will include claustrophobia, fear of confined spaces, as it fits into the pattern of being triggered by a specific cause.

Irrational as it must appear to most of us for anybody to be completely terrified by such basic fears, it is not difficult to imagine how extremely frustrating life can be for those who cannot escape their grip.


The fear of fear



Another type of phobia, agoraphobia, is the most complex of all phobias.

Literally, the word means “fear of the marketplace.”

Some authorities maintain that this fear is really of what the marketplace represents: crowds and a loss of safety or control that one can enjoy in a more confined area.

Sufferers therefore describe agoraphobia in different ways, perhaps as a fear of crowds or even as a fear of leaving home.

As it is so all-embracing, agoraphobia is also described as ‘the fear of fear itself.’

Many victims are immobilized to the extent that they will go to extremes to avoid any situation that they feel could bring on a panic attack.

As a result, their lives become more and more closely fenced in by this gripping phobia until they eventually become too cramped to make any movement at all.

Is it all in the mind?

Some research indicates that agoraphobia may be a physical illness, a disorder of the nervous system.

Psychiatrist Dr. David V. Sheehan, author of The Anxiety Disease, asserts:

"What is becoming increasingly clear is that we are dealing with a medical illness.”

Some feel that there is validity to this medical-illness idea, indicated by the fact that injections of sodium lactate can bring on panic attacks in people suffering from this phobia, as Dr. Ferris Pitts, professor of psychiatry at the University of Southern California, discovered.

This, however, is only one theory.

Research into the cause of phobias is systematically being pursued in many directions.

Some seek a genetic connection.

Others believe that hormonal imbalances may be at the root of the trouble.

Has what we eat anything to do with it?

According to Dennis Charney and his team of researchers at Yale University School of Medicine, caffeine can produce “anxiety, nervousness, fear, nausea, palpitations, restlessness and tremors” in some agoraphobics.

Yet the fact remains that nobody can pinpoint a common cause of phobias.

They are still a mystery.

What aid for phobics?

Can phobias be cured by medication and the vast array of modern drugs?

In some cases, it would seem so.

But here again, the response of individuals can vary as much as their phobias.

Psychiatrist David Burns, comments:

"In spite of promising successes in treating some anxiety disorders with medications, there is a complete lack of evidence that drugs alone will do the job.”

In fact, for many victims some drugs have no effect at all, or if they do, it lasts only for a short time—a few months or as little as a week or so.

Side effects from drugs also have to be taken into consideration, and they can be quite unpleasant.

For this reason it has been estimated that only 70 percent of phobics can take them.

Aside from insomnia, blurred vision, and other problems, some drugs in certain cases can produce symptoms of a panic attack, much to the distress of the sufferer.

It is therefore not uncommon for phobics to pursue more than one therapy in their quest for relief.

“The method which has worked wonders for one may do little for another,” observes Muriel Frampton in her book Agoraphobia—Coping With the Outside World.

In addition to the orthodox medical treatments, homeopathy, osteopathy, acupuncture, and various nature remedies are all on record as helping some individuals.

Personal preference plays its part in the selection of medications.

Even so, it is good to be alert to some problems in this regard.


ECT and hypnosis



One therapy for anxiety is ECT (electroconvulsive therapy), or shock treatment as it is commonly called.

A weak electric current is passed through the brain to induce a mild fit.

It can bring relief, but as far as removing phobias is concerned, its effects may not be long lasting.

There are also possible side effects, such as a loss of memory.

This treatment has now been banned or restricted in parts of the United States and in some European countries.

Hypnosis, or hypnotherapy, has also been recommended by some doctors.

But as Frampton states:

Experience has suggested that therapy is more soundly based when it involves the conscious will of the patient.” Agoraphobia—Coping With the Outside World"


The value of self-help



In view of the limitations of medication, can phobics do anything to help themselves?

Yes, and many doctors and therapists teach that self-help is the best way to treat phobias.

Results can be rewarding and often long lasting.

First of all, the victim has to learn the art of relaxation.

Thorough physical relaxation is essential for the all-important easing of mental tension.

Along these lines, psychologist Alan Goldstein reports:

We teach agoraphobic patients to relax, to use breath control and to stop their panicking thoughts and focus on the ‘here and now’ to help them deal with panic attacks.”

Once this far (and it is not easy, as it can take weeks of patient effort to learn to relax adequately), the next step is to identify the source of the fear and face up to it.

A skilled therapist can help a patient to understand the stages that lead to a panic attack.

Then, step by step, he encourages the patient, in his imagination, to overcome them.

As Alan Goldstein puts it:

“We help them to identify their feelings and get in touch with them.”

Not all sufferers can master this desensitization technique, as it is called.

But it can eventually lead those who do master it to face the actual experience and overcome it.

Even if a complete cure is not effected, the cause, or causes, of the phobia may at least be tolerated thereafter.

Therapists using the technique claim that eight out of every ten phobics who try this approach gain substantial relief.


Fighting the fear



An extension of this desensitization idea is to have the patient deliberately face the source of his fear for as long as possible.

This takes a lot of courage and can be exhausting and emotionally upsetting in some cases.

For these reasons it is often best pursued under some type of professional direction rather than on an individual basis.

Either way, it often brings good results.

Tony Elliott, himself a former agoraphobic, formed a phobic association in Nottingham, England.

To help sufferers beat the phobia of traveling by train, he arranges for those involved to visit a train station and sit in a railway carriage in a siding.

Later on, a short ride in the station is the first step, progressing eventually to a journey of a few miles to the next station.

Doctors monitor the trip and stand by with a supply of tranquilizers.

Results have been encouraging. “I can get some of them 90 percent cured,” is Elliott’s claim.

The same therapy is now being applied to bus and airplane travel and is being used by numerous associations.

How easy it is to laugh at other people’s phobias!

Such fears, however, are very real and call for deep understanding and compassion.

Those who suffer are rarely exaggerating or pretending.

The ironlike grip of fear can be intense and the handicaps experienced completely genuine.

Yet it is not unknown for well-intentioned friends to make light of the problem, encouraging the phobic to ‘snap out of it.’

‘You give in too easily!’ ‘Don’t be silly, it can’t hurt you!’ are commonly heard expressions.

But they are, in fact, counterproductive—and unkind.

The phobic person requires patient help and empathy.

Forest fire.

The sight of blackened, fire-ravaged trees standing forlornly on a denuded mountain is not a pleasant one.

Aside from ruining beautiful scenery, a forest tire destroys vast quantities of valuable timber.

Decades may be required to repair the damage it does.

For that reason humans see in a forest fire great waste of a natural resource, but in the economy of nature it may not necessarily be a tragic waste.

Over a period of time trees can become too crowded and the forest floor too thickly littered for new trees to sprout and grow.

Fire is one of the ways nature has of clearing away an old forest so a new one can spring up.

The ashes and the gradual decay of the fallen trees contribute to the fertility of the soil, and the clearing of the soil and the exposing of it to direct sunlight help in the propagation of plants and trees of many types.

Trees such as pitch pine, jack pine, lodge pole pine and aspen are helped to survive by a fire.

Otherwise they would be crowded out by other types of trees.

An occasional fire that clears away the litter on the forest floor and opens up the leafy canopy above benefits them.

Their heavy-bodied cones are opened by the intense heat of the fire, allowing the seeds to spill out on the bare ground.

Their seeds soon sprout and in a matter of years a new forest has taken the place of the old one.

The time may seem long to humans, but to nature it is short.

The occasional burning of grasslands and chaparral is not necessarily a waste as far as nature is concerned.

New and vigorous growths usually spring up, to the benefit of the many wild animals that depend upon them for food and shelter.

In marshlands a fire that sweeps away the tall, dead reeds clears the way for young sprouts to grow, providing food for waterfowl.

Thus what may appear as a wasteful fire to humans may be useful in the long-range economy of nature.

On the other hand, tires carelessly started by humans are far too numerous and ill-timed to fall into the same category.


Wind storms and ice storms



Violent winds and severe ice storms can do a great amount of damage to a forest.

Limbs are snapped off and trees are blown over.

Following a severe storm a forest may have a devastated appearance, but since the forest is made up of living things it does not stay that way.

The damage proves to be beneficial in the long run.

Uprooted trees and broken limbs gradually decay, returning to the soil valuable nutrients.

In the mounds of earth turned up by the fallen trees seedlings take root and in time replace the trees blown down.

For the many years the logs lie on the ground they provide protective shelter to many of the little  animals that scamper about the forest floor.

For wood grubs they provide food and shelter.

Since the majority of wood-eating insects prefer weak or dead trees, they perform a useful service in eliminating such trees from the forest.

As for the damage insects and diseases do to living trees, this is usually kept to a minimum in a virgin forest where humans do not interrupt the natural balance of things.

Occasionally 'a plague of insects may do a lot of damage to a species of tree, perhaps nearly eliminating it from the forest, but the plague passes in time and the forest adjusts to the changes it caused.


Nothing wasted



The vast amount of food, such as berries, nuts, and so forth, that is produced in the forest is not wasted when humans does not use it.

It helps to feed the wildlife there.

Even that which rots on the ground is not wasted.

The ground of a forest teems with living animals, most of them too small for humans to see with his naked eye.

One square foot of ground may contain four times as many animals as there are humans on earth.

Most of them are microscopic.

Since these organisms need food just as do the larger animals, they feed on what comes to them.

The fruit, leaves and other vegetable matter as well as animal wastes form their food supply.

If they did not feed on this material the forest would soon be choked with debris.

About two tons of material fall upon an acre of forest floor every year.

This material, which to humans appears wasted, plays an important part in nature’s economy by feeding the fantastically large population of animals that live in the soil of the forest.

Their activity contributes to its fertility.

Bacteria decompose the debris, liberating the chemicals in it that are vital to plant growth.

During their short life-span bacteria decompose a quantity of matter every day that is equal to 100 to 1,000 times their own weight.

The ammonia compounds that result from decomposition are changed into valuable nitrates, which are vital to plant life, as that is the only source most plants have for indispensable nitrogen.

Other chemical substances that result from the breaking down of complex carbohydrates and proteins in the dead matter are not wasted but are absorbed by plant roots and used to produce plant tissue that, in turn, provides food for the many animals that live on vegetation.

When an animal dies and its body falls to the floor of the forest, the small animals there begin feeding upon it.

Worms, insects and bacteria consume what is left by carrion-eating birds and animals.

In a short while nothing remains.

The elements in the body are not wasted but are used again.

Dead bodies, as well as bacteria, animal wastes and dead vegetable matter contribute to the production of the layers of nourishing humus that make the forest soil fertile for plant life.

The valuable elements in this dead organic matter are not wasted but are reused by the living plants.

This fact should cause a person to feel less distressed at the sight of rotting fruit lying on the ground around a fruit tree.

Whether in plant life or in animal life, death, through the process of decay, contributes to the continuation of life.

The great quantity of water that rainstorms dump upon a forest is not wasted water because humans are not living there to use it.

Some of it is caught by the leaves of the trees, and when the storm passes it evaporates into the atmosphere, contributing to the humidity in the air of the forest.

Much that falls upon the forest floor is caught in the mazes of small passageways dug by worms and other insects.

These myriads of passageways act as reservoirs, preventing the water from running off too quickly.

They also serve the good purpose of aerating the soil.

A large amount of water that falls upon the forest floor is taken up by the roots of the trees and other plant life.

By the process of transpiration a certain amount of water is returned to the atmosphere through the leaves of the plants.

During the summer one acre of forest may give up to the atmosphere more than 2,500 gallons of water a day.

Water that does not remain in the soil sinks deep into the ground to build up the underground water supply that keeps springs and wells flowing during the periods when no rain is falling.

It is for this reason that forests play an important part in the water economy of nature.

Although water that quickly runs off bare hills does not build up the vital underground water supply, it is not wasted.

It is eventually picked up by the sun’s rays through the process of evaporation and recycled as rain to water the land once again.


Human activity effects on forests



The damage done by erosion is kept to a minimum by nature where humans do not disrupt the balance of things.

Forests and grasslands hold the soil in place and cause water to soak into the ground.

When human exhausts the soil by overworking it or denudes it by overgrazing it, there is nothing to hold the soil in place.

Gradually rains and wind erode it away, and in time the land becomes a desert.

This is the story in northern Africa, where great portions of land along the Mediterranean were once fertile.

The land ruined is now desert, with once prosperous cities buried under sand.

Throughout the earth humans foolishly has ruined much of its riches.

Nature, on the other hand, builds up and conserves natural resources.

The forest is a wonderful example of the economy of nature.

In the balance existing there that continues century after century, with vital elements being used over and over again.

Guest.


To be a good guest is an art.

It is a skill that involves both mind and heart.

What kind of guest are you?

When you take leave, is your host sorry to see you go?

Of course, if you are to be a guest, you should want to be a good one."

It has been said that what makes a good guest is personality, manners and delicacy of feelings.

Such may be true, but more basic and more likely to be in the reach of all is the requirement of empathy, that is, the ability to put one yourself in the shoes of another, your host or hostess in this instance.

Why is this so?

Let as consider a few factors to illustrate this:


1. Know whether to accept invitation



To be a good guest you must know whether to accept an invitation or not.

Even where the invitations is such that you would like to accept it, it often well to express a measure of reluctance, or least not too great a readiness to accept the invitation.

In this way the sincerity and strength of the invitation can be made to appear.

However, should the would be host be a diffident person, or one of humble circumstances, any undue reluctance on your part might discourage him further and so it would be better to answer such a person, “ why, I’d be glad to come!”.

In fact, under certain circumstances it may even be wise to invite yourself, in the case of a deserving person whom you who is in a superior position can offer some special help.


2. Know how long to stay



To be a good guest also includes knowing how long to stay.

Bear in mind that while you may have a two week vacation, it might be convenient for your host to have you only for a few days.

Far better is it to have your hosts genuinely thinking and perhaps asking, “Why go so soon?” than to have them wonder "when you will go?".

The same applies to how often you call by.

You may find it a pleasure to repeatedly drop in on a close neighbor, but if you are not careful, pertinently he will soon have sufficiency of you and disdain your visits.


3. Have good manners



Good manners have been defined as showing consideration in little things.

A good guest will find many opportunities to show good manners or consideration.

First and foremost you can do so by coming at the appointed time and in a way that will be the least trouble to your host; giving thought to what is most convenient to the your host rather than what is most convenient to you.

Try to be courteous, polite, and agreeable.

That is avoid doing things that may offend the senses, be they those of hearing, seeing, smelling or feelings.

On the other hand be neither over anxious to please nor indifferent about pleasing the host. You should avoid extremes but be reasonable.


4. Fit into the environment



A good guest fits unobtrusively into his environment.

You will not want to force you host to listen to classical music if your guest prefers popular music, nor want to dwell on your preference for German food if your host is a typical Italian.

The fact is that what your host serves is an expression of affection, and that is what counts, not whether it is one thing or another.

Therefore be modest.

Modest here means not thinking more of yourself than is expected of you.

Hence, modesty will keep you from offending your host in ever so many respects.
It will keep you from stirring up competition between you and your host and from expecting too much as well as taking too much for granted.

This will make you appreciative and content with whatever is offered to you.

For example, it would be wise to seat at the least prominent seat at your host dinner table or at least wait to be directed to your seat. This will not only save you embarrassment, but also save the host the embarrassment of asking you to move. "

No doubt displaying modesty will save you many embarrassing moments.


5. Sharing the burden

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In these days of high prices that keep ever higher, the art of being a good guest may well include sharing the burden of the expense your stay entails.

While you might embarrass your host by offering to pay for your stay, there are other ways in which you might be able to help from time to time, especially if you are a guest for a week or more.

Having a guest invariably means more work for one or more members of the host family.

You might lighten that extra load by keeping your own room clean, your bed made, help with cleaning up afterwards.

Such offers of help might not always be accepted, but, even if not, they are appreciated.

If you are one of the menfolk, there are yet other opportunities.

Around the average home there is usually is one or more things that needs to be taken care of, especially if there is a lawn, a garage, an automobile in the garage.

Or there may be some minor jobs crying out to be taken care of because of the busy schedule of the man of the house.


6. Gifts and appreciation



You need not wait until after you have arrived to show your appreciation. At time you may want to bring a gift when you come.

For example, groceries is always fitting when your stay is brief; or an article of clothing for your host or hostess or something practical or ornamental for the home may be appropriate if your stay is longer.

A taste and appropriate gift betokens affection and appreciation starts off your stay as a guest with the right foot.

There is nothing like an expression of generosity or liberality to elicit the same from others.

Nor should it be forgotten that mere expressing gratitude, not exaggerated praise or flattery, can make others feel it was worth hosting you.


7. Giving of yourself



It is giving of yourself that differentiates you from other persons and really distinguishes your stay at the home of friends from your stay at a hotel.

After all hospitality is not extended or accepted to save on expense but to enrich each other in the heart and mind.

That is why it is well been said that it takes personality to be a good guest; it requires giving what you alone can give, yourself.

There are many ways in which you can give of yourself.

Give of your company, your association, your time.

Contribute to interesting conversation by sharing things you have learned, observations and interesting experiences or anecdotes.

Here your favorite hobby can also serve a useful purpose.

Often it can contribute to very enjoyable evening.

But a word of caution:

Do not let your enthusiasm make you unduly prominent, usurping the host’s position.


In conclusion



Much more might be said about the art of being a fine guest, but from the foregoing examples it is apparent you must go beyond your needs and contribute concretely to the enjoyment or up building of your host.

In this way you will make you stay worthwhile to your host or hostess - and even to yourself.

But how can you be a good guest to a sick friend you visit in hospital?

Please read the following article:

How to visit a sick friend?

Thinking about future.

Young or old, rich or poor, sick or healthy, you have a future, for the word “future” means “time that is to come.”

And everyone reaches the future at the same rate of 60 minutes an hour.

What that future will bring for you, however, depends on how you view it and plan for it.

Your future consists of more than just the time that remains of your present life.

It also includes how you use that time, the plans you have made, the goals you have set.


Why some don’t care about their future?



Why is it that so many give so little thought to the future?

There are a number of reasons for this.

Here are some of them:

▪ The anxiety and struggle of everyday life stifles thoughts of the future.

▪ The “now generation” philosophy promotes the view, ‘live for the moment and the future will take care of itself.’

▪ Those pursuing the ‘whatever will be, will be’ way of life believe destiny alone shapes the future.

▪ The ‘what’s the use’ feeling results in despair and deters setting goals for the future.

But how about those who do plan for the future?

Their plans may lack objectivity and their future may, therefore, become disappointing.

How so?

Because there are some things that shape human thought that can make a person expectations for the future flawed.

One is inherited genetic traits; the other, the environment.

And the philosophy of the political, religious, economic and social community is constantly squeezing people into its mold.

The result?

Deflection of effort away from a realistic future.


A realistic approach to your future



‘How can I have a realistic and meaningful future?’ you wonder. 

The answer may lie in what Nobel Prize winner John Galsworthy wrote: "If you do not think about the future, you cannot have one.”

Give serious thought first to what the future could bring.

Next think about what you would like to be and do in that future. 

Then take the needed action to direct your steps toward that goal.

But remember humans lack complete control of future situations and must react to them as they develop.

For example, your effort may include preparing for your children’s education, assuming that this will guarantee them a more promising future. 

Yet there are university graduates who become unemployed.

Or you may be working extremely hard at present so as to be financially secure in the future.

But inflation and economic recession can strip away financial holdings.

Or it may be looking forward to retirement with a home and an income that will give material independence and the ability to live out the golden years in comfort.

Yet some disaster may rob you of this hope.

Or it may be you believing that the future will somehow become better tomorrow.

But that “tomorrow” never comes.

What can do when your life does not turn out like you had planned it?

Suppose you are planning for a family picnic but find out that the weather forecast calls for a severe thunderstorm.

Would you not change your plans?

There is nothing you can do to control the weather, but you do not have to get drenched. 

If alternative steps are taken, the family can have a pleasant time elsewhere despite the storm.

For some however, self-delusion may be more pleasant than facing reality, but it does not provide a living, feed loved ones, or enable one to cope with the many other requirements of life.

A person who imagines things are the way he would like them to be, instead of facing them the way they really are, is not reasoning on the facts, but is building on fancy.

His powers of discernment are clouded.

Those who ignore the facts and delude themselves with fancy are like the proverbial ostrich that hides his head in the sand when danger nears.

However, the realist person recognizes that such ostrich exists in fables only, not in fact! 

The ostrich of reality does not ignore the fact of danger. He does not hide his head in the sand.

To the contrary, he moves away from the source of potential harm so rapidly that few animals can keep up with him when he is in full flight.

Daydreamers are like that proverbial ostrich

They hide their heads in the sands of self-deception and fancy when situations arise that demand a realistic facing of the facts, and actions based on those facts.

Therefore, for your future to be more realistic, be willing to make the necessary adjustments to meet the various challenges you will meet in the future.

Lovely family.


Have we not all, at one time or another, made personal resolves to do something nice for a family member? 

We promise ourselves that we are going to express our love and appreciation for them.

We may plan to express our sentiments by means of a gift, a note, a verbal expression or some kind gesture. 

Such personal resolves are noble, for they reflect an unselfish frame of mind.

However, it is one thing to make a personal resolve to do something and quite another to carry it out.

This is because we may let other things cause us to keep putting it off.

Unless we promptly carry it out while the desire is burning brightly in our hearts, we may find that we will be continually postponing it. 

This usually leads to our forgetting about our good intention or giving up the whole idea.


Don't take them for granted



To avoid failing in this regard, we need to recognize that the complexities of modern-day living make our forgetting a good intention an easy course to follow.

Matters do come up unexpectedly, some of which demand our immediate attention.

However, by not letting small matters dictate our course of action, we will more likely fulfill our good intentions, much to the joy of our family and ourselves.

Notice that there is a need to pursue the doing of good, at all times making it our aim.

Such counsel is given because humans tend to let other things crowd out this most desirable quality.

Yes, we need to guard against the habit of postponing the doing of good to our family.

Further, procrastination or the putting off of matters for another time is nourished by the tendency to take things for granted.

How is this?

Well, let us say that a married couple has been planning for some time to have their aged parents over for dinner.

However, something is always coming up that causes them to keep postponing it.

Are they not taking for granted that they and their aged parents will be here next week or next month?
How true that is!

None of us knows what the next day will give birth to, let alone the next week.

Husbands and wives also need to guard against the complacent feeling of taking each other for granted.

Take advantage of the numerous opportunities to do thoughtful little things for your closest companion in life.

Do not get into the habit of delaying the doing of good that you plan for that one.

One husband was left to care for two children when his wife suddenly died.

He confessed that he took her for granted and now he wants so much to have the opportunity to tell her how much she meant to him and how good she was.

What a lesson we can draw from his experience!

While it is true that husbands and wives owe it to their mates to be appreciative, expressions of appreciation mean much more when they are not demanded but are won by appealing to the other person’s heart.

How can this be done?


Spend more time with them



It is not enough that one should be generous with his or her time in dealing with persons outside, the family deserves attention too.

A person who spends some time each day in up building conversation with his or her family will certainly be appreciated far more than the one who simply brings home money.

And while others may admire him or her for helping others in the community, it is the willingness to set aside time regularly to be with his or her family that will strength family bonds.

In view of the transient nature of life, we should do now what we resolve in our hearts and not put it off.

To avoid putting off what we plan, we also need to guard against hobbling ourselves with the idea that we must make an elaborate gesture to express our sentiments.

This, too, contributes toward postponing the fulfillment of our loving desires.

Yes, planning to make it extraordinary may defeat our purpose.

How?

When little things come up that do not require much to accomplish, we will find ourselves tackling these and postponing the more complicated resolve.

Today there are many persons who are plagued with remorse and regret.

Among them are those who never appreciated what they had until they lost it.

Others kept putting off carrying out their noble intentions so long that suddenly death took away the object of their planned attention.

They are haunted by memories of what could have been but was not.

While it is too late to do anything to correct the matter now, such ones can learn from their experience.

Yes, they can make changes, resolving never to let it happen again.

Rather than torment themselves over the past unfulfilled resolves, they can positively take advantage of the opportunities they now have to do good to their family.

The lessons here apply to all of us.

We should do the good that we plan to do now while we have the opportunity.

One daughter wisely responded quickly to her noble desire, and she wrote to her parents, saying:

"Dear Mom and Dad. Thank you both so very much. I appreciate it more and more as I grow older.”

What joy that brought to her parents!

How loving and wise not to hold back from telling your dear parents the deep appreciation you have for what they have done for you! 

Why not let them know now how much you appreciate their love, devotion and sacrifices for you?

Not only for our own good but for our own self-respect we need to overcome the tendency to put off doing things, especially that which is beneficial and good.

Have you resolved to do something kind for your family?

Do not put it off, do it now!

Debt consolidation.


Guest post by Andrew



Free debt consolidation programs, can they really help you become debt free?

Have you piled up enormous credit card debt?

Do you want to get rid of debt burden?

If yes, then you will come across different ways with which you can bring back your personal finances on the right track.

Since you've already fallen into debt, you must be looking for a way out to overcome debt.

You may choose free debt consolidation programs to erase debt problems.

For this, you will have to pay a certain amount of fees to the company so that they may help you become debt free.


Free debt consolidation programs



Reduce credit card bills with their help.

Here are some tips on how free debt consolidation programs can help you reduce credit card bills.


(1) Trying to reduce the rate of interest – 


Do you know why most card holders do not want to pay down the credit card dues on time?

Possibly, the reason behind this is the credit card companies charge them high interest rate.

You can choose free debt consolidation programs where the consolidator negotiates with your creditors for lowering the interest rate on your dues.

The credit card bill payments will become much easier for you.


(2) Going for a single monthly payment facility 



Have you mounted up outstanding dues on your several credit cards?

If yes, then choose debt consolidation and make yourself completely debt free.

The reason why you’ll opt for this debt solution is you can go for a single monthly payment facility.

As such, you won’t have to make the debt payments separately and thus, not handle various creditors at a time.


(3) The consolidator negotiating with the creditors 


It is not so easy to negotiate with your creditors when you do not have the proper negotiation skills.

Thus, the best thing you can do is to enroll in a debt consolidation program where the consolidator will do the work on your behalf.

He will negotiate with your creditors and ask them to diminish the interest rate by as much as they can. You’ll be able to pay off debts soon.


(4) Leaving a negative impact on your credit score 


Have you missed out any of your credit card bill payments?

If yes, then be assured that your credit score has dropped down by several points and your score has got hurt.

Other than this, if you've delayed in making even a single payment, this will leave a negative impact too. Sign up with debt consolidation and try to improve credit score.


(5) Getting a suitable chance to become debt free  


Are you worried as to how you will come out of debt problems?

If yes, then you must be spending sleepless nights thinking how you will pay off your dues quickly.

It’s suggested that you go for debt consolidation and try to repay debts as early as possible.

Debt consolidation gives you a suitable chance to become debt free.

Thus, debt consolidation program is an effective way to deal with your debt problems so that you can get rid of them soon.


Author's Bio:


Andrew- is a financial writer who loves to contribute his articles to the communities, blogs and websites.

Expressing doubt.


“Tell me. Why didn’t you greet me on the street the other day? What have you got against me?”

“We met? No, I can’t remember that!”

“That’s impossible! We passed and you even looked into my eyes, but didn’t greet me! What have you got against me?”

Did you ever experience or witness a situation such as this true-life incident?

Perhaps you have seen an even more serious instance when wrong motives were imputed to someone

For one thing, it is possible to misunderstand the attitude and motives of others.

Today, an individual may be shy and retiring.

Perhaps he also has a stern facial expression.

Others might wrongly conclude that he is cold, proud and unloving, although that may not be the case at all.

Sometimes people incorrectly impute laziness to others.

But the one they consider lazy may be doing his utmost.

Because of some physical weakness or health problem, he may not be able to do more or to work faster.

So it is good to realize that, for many reasons, not all persons are equally productive or efficient.

At times, wrong motives have been imputed to those who have simply been trying to show loving consideration for others.

For instance, in a certain office several persons take turns answering the telephone even after regular working hours.

They need not sit right at the phone waiting for a call, but may do something else in a room nearby.

One day, a responsible individual not on duty was right at the telephone when a call came in.

Considerately, he answered it so that the person then on duty would not have to interrupt activity in a nearby room.

Unfortunately, however, the one on duty imputed a wrong motive instead of thanking the thoughtful individual for his loving assistance.

A minor matter?

Yes, but it illustrates the need to guard against misconceptions in assessing the attitudes and motives of others.


Giving other the benefit of doubt



Seeing the sad consequences of imputing wrong motives to others, we certainly want to refrain from doing this.

It is wise to give others the benefit of the doubt.

Adherence to this principle certainly means trusting others in cases of doubt, instead of being unduly suspicious of them.

Getting better acquainted with others may help us to avoid imputing wrong motives to them.

Sometimes this takes months, or even years.

But in many cases, the more information we have, the less we are in danger of imputing wrong motives to others.


When our motive are questioned



But what if we are the ones to whom wrong motives are being imputed?

How should we react?

In the course of time, the other person may get to know you better and may correct his view.

Upon appreciating that he was mistaken, he will love you all the more, especially if you did not react in anger.

An especially difficult situation exists when a person gets counsel from someone who misjudges his motives.

Whatever might be said in defense may be viewed as self-justification.

In reality, however, the counsel may not apply because not all factors have been taken into consideration.

Still, some well-meaning counselors may tend to question your motives if you try to point out the real situation.

Hence, if the point in question is of little importance, you may choose not to say anything further to correct the counselor’s view, provided that no harmful results are to be expected from remaining silent.

But it is not always required that you simply say nothing if your position or motives have been misunderstood.

Obviously, it would be morally wrong to allow a lie to stand unchallenged.

There are instances when it is appropriate to explain your position or attitude calmly, so that your conscience is at ease because you know that at least you made an effort to clarify matters instead of being guilty of weakly admitting to a false charge.

Thereby the counselor may benefit, too, especially as regards developing balance in the giving of counsel.

Do you recall the case mentioned at the outset?

One individual had imputed wrong motives to another who had failed to greet her.

Well, in later conversation it was found that the man had just been lost in thought and had not recognized the woman.

That was the only reason that he had not said hello.

It was good that this woman spoke with the man about her impression and did not hold a grudge against him while at the same time not disclosing her thoughts.

But an even better solution to this problem would have been to assume from the very beginning that the other person had merely overlooked her.

There is, indeed, a need for balance in evaluating the motives of others.

Therefore, you should beware of unjustly imputing wrong motives to others.


Body build.


What is the relationship between body build type of body build and one's health?

Studies indicate that each type of body build has its strong points, its tendencies, its dangers and its distresses.

Researchers point out that there is a greater frequency of some diseases in persons exhibiting a predominance of a particular body build.

Thus the knowledge of the general relationship between body build and health may provide the basis for some preventive measures and at the same time throw some light on why it has been said that one man’s meat is another’s poison.

The combination of weight and height of a person results in a general build of body called habitus.

This word is defined as:

 “the body build and constitution, especially, as related to predisposition to disease.” 

There are three general divisions.

The heavy ones, usually high in what is called endomorphy; the medium or muscular ones, usually high in mesomorphy; and the thin ones, usually high in ectomorphy.

The study of body build in relation to health is being given increasing consideration these days.

It will be interesting to examine what some researchers have found in this matter, both as to disease susceptibilities and health assets.


Digestive system dominant 



This is known as endomorphy, with this body build the abdomen is bulkier than the chest and the limbs are comparatively short.

Those high in this body component are said to have splendid digestion; they can enjoy a heavy meal that would make a thin person most uncomfortable.

With the endomorph build usually comes an unusual freedom from nervous disorders.

Relaxation comes easily.

Sleep also comes easily and is deep.

Dr. Sheldon reports that those high in this body type can get along with less sleep than those of ectomorphic (thin) build.

He states, however, that those of endomorphic build often get too much sleep.

Hence those of this body type need to guard against the tendency to sleep in overdoses, a tendency that can become habitual.

Studies indicate that this body type does not often fall into the snare of overdoing exercise, since there seems to be a tendency to dislike vigorous exercise.

This body build is said to “work off” less food by exercise than others.

Food‘ is said to be. a sheer delight for those of this body type, and almost any kind can be eaten

Without difficulty, including coarse foods and fibers.

Midget meals do not seem to lit the capacious digestive tract of these persons, and they seem to do well with a moderate breakfast and two fairly large meals a day.

There is a tendency, as Dr. Sheldon puts it, for these persons to eat “more than is conducive to [their] best mental. development.”

Moreover, if they are not carefully moderate in food, especially with fats, oils, creams, sugars and gravies, they may easily put on thirty or more pounds every five years until middle life.

Though persons high in other body types may regulate their intake and output of energy quite automatically, a person high in endomorphy often cannot rely on his automatic regulations and may need to follow a dietary regimen prescribed by a physician, if he wishes to avoid the consequences of his constitutional trait.

What about the goal of an ultra-slim figure for those of endomorphic build?

They should remember that a relatively heavy build is natural to their body type, and as Dr. H. J . Berglund writes:

Weight tables, as published by insurance companies and publicized on penny scales, are of little value. Even the recent breakdown into three different tabulations for slight, medium, and heavy skeletons, does not make them individual enough. A person with small bones is probably an endomorph who is more likely to be healthy with a heavy load than many with more expansive skeletons.” 

Taking special precaution to guard against overdieting, overeating and oversleeping is thought to be beneficial for those high in this body type.


Bones and muscle system dominant 



This is called mesomorphy.

Those high in this body type have heavy bones and well-developed muscles.

They may be heavy but not overweight.

As a group these persons are said to be endowed with an unusually rich health capital.

Among their health assets are tremendous physical drive and endurance, with a relatively low sleep requirement, all of which gives them not only more energy than others but more time.

Another benefit is said to be infrequent food requirements, so that they often can go a long time without the thought of food.

Still another benefit of this body build is said to be the relative immunity to common nervous disorders.

There is a natural love for exercise on the part of those high in mesomorth; and since this body build benefits most from exercise, there may be a tendency to overdo it, spending too much time on bodily training.

Hence persons of this body type need to watch that the craving for exercise does not get out of hand, consuming valuable time that should be devoted to more essential things.

If the food habits of youth persist through middle age for persons high in this body build, body fat may accumulate.

Hence it may be necessary for many persons of this type to go easy on oils, fats, creams, gravies and concentrated sugars.

Since high blood pressure is quite common among persons prominent in mesomorphy, they are usually advised to take special care to avoid dangerous emotions, such as jealousy, resentment, anger and rage.


Skin and nervous system dominant



Those high in ectomorphy often have long limbs and delicate bones, long neck, small stomach and a relatively short digestive tract.
Thus the large, heavy meal may overload the small stomach of these persons, causing great discomfort.

They are said to do better with many small meals through the day.

Some studies indicate that persons high in ectomorphic build are relatively free from appendicitis, gall-bladder disorders, nephritis and many infections, except those of the upper respiratory tract.

Persons of this body type are said to have a lower degree of heart and arterial diseases than those of the other two body types, and so they are often regarded by insurance companies as excellent mortality risks.

Weight gains often are only three or four pounds after adolescence, so that the weight curve is consistent with long life expectancy.

Tenseness is said to be common among those of this group, and there is usually a hypersensitivity to insect bites, sometimes a tendency to unexplained itching.

Because those high in ectomorphy present a relatively larger body surface to the impacts of environment, the result is greater energy expenditures, coupled with the fact that there is less opportunity for accumulation of reserves (fat, protein, water, etc.).

The main susceptibility of the group is that of fatigue, caused partly by the fact that the digestive tract is poorly upheld.

Though exercise to strengthen the abdominal muscles is recommended for this group, Dr. Sheldon points out:

“Unnecessary vigorous exercise, instead of building up energy in these people, seems to exhaust the already scanty reserve and to leave them inefficient victims of chronic fatigue.” 

Despite the tendency toward fatigue, Dr. Sheldon adds that these persons may be just as zealous in their activities as those who have greater energy potential, but those of ectomorphic build may not be able to carry through as well as those with the heavier build.

Because of limitations on their energy, coupled with a zeal that may be as intense as those of mesomorphic build, those of this body type may sometimes experience feelings of frustration and dissatisfaction.

More sleep is required for those high in this body component, and they must exercise caution in such matters as socializing and staying up late at night.

Sometimes persons of this body type succumb to a nervous breakdown before they realize that they cannot keep up with the late hours and pace of those with stronger builds.

Thus Dr. Logan Clendening writes in his book The Human Body:

What can be done to help guide a constitutionally thin or heavy person past his dangers? Considering the inherent difficulties of the task, a good deal. For the ones we have called the thin people . . . they should sooner or later be brought to a realization of the very important fact for them that they have not the same powers of endurance as other people with stronger structures. This sounds very logical as put down here, but it is astonishing how long it takes some of these people to come to this conviction, how much turmoil they go through, how many diagnoses are pronounced upon them. My colleagues in the medical profession have been very slow to grasp this idea of the whole man. Rest for certain periods in the day sufficient to renew the stores of energy which these bodies need is the first element in treatment or adjustment. . . . Other accessories to treatment ’ are exercise to strengthen the abdomen-lying on the back and raising the legs to a vertical position-the wearing of supporting corsets, and an increased diet to fatten up persons of this type. . . . The heavy ones . . . must learn to be abstemious at the table.” 

Further suggestions are given in the volume Constitution and Disease for those predisposed to nervous disorders.

It is conceivable that those predisposed to [disorders] of the nervous system may be benefited by vitamin B in doses larger than those required by normal individuals. . . . [With reference to persons of various builds he said:] Regulation of diet, habits, mode of life, advice concerning choice of profession, periodic examination with regard to the individual morbid predisposition, physical and mental hygiene, are the means at our disposal for making up for what nature has denied to certain individuals.” 

Moderation in all habits will do much to help a person of any body build combat adverse predispositions.

And yet, as we have seen, what may be moderate for one body type may well be excessive for another.

Each one must use good judgment in determining.

And this includes moderation in the use of knowledge concerning health matters, preventive measures, and so forth.

Window cleaner.


Jobs naturally are harder to come by when unemployment is high and competition for them is keen.

Even so, much of the increase in time between jobs often stems from the inability of unemployed individuals to make preparations to land a job.

Educators, government officials and businessmen all say that many people remain jobless simply because they do not know how to prepare themselves for the interview.

Other unemployed individuals are reluctant to move to areas where employment is available.

Personnel officers state that most people do a very poor job of selling themselves.

They either do not know where to look for work, or what to say when they do find an opening.

It is obvious that a great many unemployed persons need to know what they must do to prepare themselves for the task of job seeking.


What can be done 




Today’s unemployed can benefit themselves immensely by doing one or more of four basic things:

(1) attend a school that will teach them how to approach an employer, or equip them with a trade that is in demand;

(2) seek employment in a field other than their own trade or profession;

(3) move to an area where there is work

(4) create employment for themselves.

The first two suggestions are in reach of almost every unemployed individual in many places, and their end is rewarding.

Bear in mind that jobs are more exacting today than they were fifteen or even ten years ago-and they are more exacting than the greatest number of the unemployed force is equipped to perform.

Schooling will help, since many of the long-term unemployed are marginal groups who lack education, training or physical abilities.

Many of these people would be rejected because they could not qualify for jobs they apply.

The lack of education of the nation’s youth is highlighted by the number of people who never went beyond basic school.

A closer look at these people reveals that many of them do not have jobs.

Their rate of unemployment was four times that of other young men of comparable age.

The majority of them work in jobs requiring the least skill, providing the lowest earnings and involving the greatest vulnerability to unemployment.

There is no escaping the fact that these unemployed must be trained before they can be absorbed completely into the labor force.

Therefore schooling does really help.

Moving to a place where there are jobs might be difficult to do if one is married and has a family.

Nevertheless, it might be the wisest thing to do.

Moving is never easy, not even under normal circumstances, but it has been done and is being done by job seekers daily.

The fourth suggestion, of course, is possible if one has a trade and is a hustler; he can find odd jobs here and there to keep him going.

There is always carpenter, mechanical and office work to be done.

There is a chance of turning a hobby into a paying job.
 
It will not hurt to try.


“Help wanted” agencies 




Private and government “help wanted” agencies are in abundance.

Many of them deal with specialized help.

Go to the agency that can serve your needs.

The private employment agent is the in-between man with the right qualifications to supply the right worker for the job, the right job for the worker.

Business and industry use his service.

So why don’t you?

A part-time job might serve your needs while you spend the extra time looking for the work you really want.

In that case it should pay you to investigate the many opportunities for employment offered by firms that specialize in placing temporary office workers.

Check the “help wanted” columns in your local newspaper or online classifieds.

Leave no stone unturned.

Advertise your need to as many people as possible.

Do not let disappointment discourage you.

You can defeat your unemployment problem.