Why stop always blaming others first?

A man pointing a finger blaming others.
To see things in their true light is not always easy, especially not when we have made a poor showing or something has gone wrong. We may, in all sincerity, be convinced that how we were reared or the circumstances over which we had no control and other people are to blame. But is this always the case?"

Could it be that you are also to blame?


For example, we may have been in an automobile accident. True, there was a fog, or the road was slippery with ice, or another driver was using poor judgment.

But what we should ask ourselves is, was I driving too fast, considering the circumstances? Had I been drinking? Was I drowsy from lack of sleep?

Was I daydreaming? Did I take needless chances? That is the wise course, not only to get at the facts, but also to profit by the experience and prevent future accidents.

What fills the law courts, so that the calendar of some courts is years behind, is the question: Just who is to blame and to what extent?

How fine it would be if one heard more often two persons arguing like this: “No, it was my fault!" “No, I was to blame!"

Domestic relations courts could be done away with entirely if there were more of such kind of arguments between members of a family.

Today, we are told, discipline is the chief problem in the public schools. For this situation the teaching faculty is prone to blame the children and their parents.

They are right; but is it not also a fact that, with permissive education and advancing children from grade to grade regardless of what they have learned, there are others who must also share the blame?

Then, too, some teachers receive more respect than do others; they are teachers that love, understanding, resourceful as well as firm when occasion demands.

So each teacher coping with the problem of discipline should ask, could it be that I am to blame, at least in part? 

On the other hand, pupils who are critical of their teachers would do well to ask to what extent they are expecting too much or they themselves are making the teacher’s task needlessly more difficult by their course of actions.

In many homes parents and children live in separate worlds, as it were. They have their own interests and go their own way to address their problems separately.

Usually, this is because there is a lack of understanding on both sides. This may cause them to blame each other for their misunderstandings.

However, this only creates a barrier between them. Being sole concerned with what is to their advantage blinds them to what is due to each other. 

Have parents become strangers to their children because of lack of discernment or because of being so deeply absorbed in their own viewpoint?

Are youths lacking empathy, thus unwilling to see things through their parent’s experienced eyes?

Especially those who fail to find happiness in that ost intimate of all relations is that of husband and wife should ask themselves the following questions. 

Am I to blame that this partnership is not running smoothly or is not producing the fruitage l hoped for and had reason to expect?

If a wife she keeps her husband walking on eggs, as it were, so as not to offend her? How can he be as appreciative, affectionate, tender and spontaneously ardent as she would like to have him be? 

Likewise the husband, although his wife is not to sets herself up as his judge, still he would do well to ask himself whenever she disappoints him, could it be that he was also to blame?

Yes, let censure and blame begin with ourselves first. If all of us could do this, then this could go a long way in help us finding solutions to the many problems affecting our lives.

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