How a married couple can have a happy family life?

A happy married couple.
The many romantic stories that with the hero and heroine getting married and living happily ever after give the impression that a happy home automatically accompanies marriage."

 Unfortunately this is not true in real life.

A happy marriage does not come like a wedding gift but must be built by the united efforts of the married couple.

The extent to which it is wanted is reflected in the effort each makes to build it.

Cultivating true love


The emotional feeling that attracts a boy and a girl toward one another and causes them to desire one another’s companionship is not true love, despite what movies and stories of romance say to the contrary.

True love is something that develops by close association over a period of time.

True love is a different thing from romance, for it is created by a sense of the other individual’s worth, not by how the other individual makes the lover feel.

We think we are in love because of the way another person makes us feel.

This is a desire for the blissful emotions created in us by the other individual at the moment.

For love, each must be willing to give fully and freely of himself, and to accept the other for what he is, not for what he can give.

Two people do not suddenly ‘fall in true love.’ They develop it together over a long period of time.”

When a husband has true love for his wife he will have as much concern over her welfare and her feelings as he has for his own. 

The same will be true with the wife toward the husband. Where there is true love, there cannot be selfishness, there cannot be brutality, and there cannot be deceit.

Dealing with differences amicably


In every marriage there are bound to be differences and occasions when there is friction. True love makes it possible for a couple to ride through these stormy times.

The person that loves does not brood over an offense but dismisses the injury to his pride or feelings.

He does not keep account of it. By exercising love in its true sense the husband and wife will overlook the trivial things and personal faults that so often are the cause of quarrels.

Happily married people learn to be sensitive toward one another’s feelings by being able to perceive how the other person feels about something that is said or done. 

Out of love one will withhold sharp responses that may hurt the other and will not do anything that will aggravate the other.

This means a wife will not nag a husband. He feels no happiness about coming home at the end of day to face a nagging wife.

Although she may be intellectually superior to her husband or better educated, she will not make him conscious of this by belittling him or correcting him before other people. By such action she tears down her marriage.

To build it up she will speak in a constructive way to her husband, giving him encouragement. The husband, on the other hand, will not continually complain and criticize his wife. It is much better for him to compliment her whenever possible.

Then when constructive criticism is offered by him, she will be more willing to accept it. It requires maturity for the man and wife to let irritating things pass without raising much fuss about them. 

Lack of maturity is shown when a husband or wife sulk after a difference, refuses to speak or resort to threats. Such childish action does not build a happy home.

Offer compliments


One of the complaints many wives have made about their husbands has been the failure to show affection. Marriage need not bring an end to affectionate expressions employed in courtship. 

Rather than taking his wife for granted, a husband should continually show his love for her, not only by endearing words but by little things he can do for her.

He can show interest in what she has done, notice little changes she makes in the house or in her clothing, compliment her and express appreciation for what she does for him. 

Complimenting her when her appearance is nice encourages her to avoid a slovenly appearance that many husbands find objectionable in their wives.

She wants to be reassured of her husband’s love by being understood, given special attention, appreciated, thought of, planned for and respected. 

Affectionate expressions by him with affectionate responses from her can cause the love bond to grow exponentially.

Foster cooperation


In any union where co-operation is necessary there must be willingness for the ones involved to compromise and to make sacrifices for the happiness of all. 

When differences arise they should be discussed, with each mate striving for agreement.

This is best done when both feel rested. There can be no happiness when there is no willingness to give in.

But the giving must not always be one way. Love will grow cold if one stubbornly demands and the other mate does most of the giving or adjusting. 

The need for couples to talk things over should not be underestimated. It can often avert emotional explosions that can wreck a marriage.

Strengthen companionship


Companionship is a basic requirement for a happy home. In a love that is adequate for a lifetime of marriage, for the two to be congenial friends is more important than any other phase of their relationship. 

Two who love each other must be friends in the same sense that any two people of the same sex are friends.

This means they enjoy each other’s company because of genuine congeniality, aside from sex interest; they want to confide in each other, to talk things over, and to share amusement, ideas, disappointment, or grief. 

They tend to see life through each other’s eyes. They are at ease and comfortable with each other, as good friends always are. 

Conclusion  


If you want a happy family life, you must be willing to make the effort that is necessary to get it.

What you get out of your marriage will be directly related to what you put into it.

If you are willing to give, willing to sacrifice, willing to be unselfish and willing to be objective about how the other person thinks and feels, you will be moving in the right direction towards a happy family life.

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