How to cope being a single woman?

Picture of a happy single ebony woman.
Why are you not yet married?” “What are you waiting for?” These questions are asked of many women who are single, sometime teasingly but often out of concern for their future." 

If you are among the millions of women who are single, you most likely have been confronted with similar questions.

They reflect society’s attitude towards a woman being single.

For those who live in lands where women outnumber the men, there is definitely a problem, particularly for those who want to marry but do not seem to be able to find a mate.

This may seem to paint a bleak future for those fearful of remaining single.

Although it presents a problem, it does not mean that you are forever barred from a happy and fulfilled life.

One’s mental approach to the situation is vital. Each woman has a choice.

Either she can make her life miserable by indulging in self-pity and being defensive about her single state or she can appreciate the advantages there are to singleness and make a success of it.

Here are some tips that can help you.

Mr. Right and your personality


Among those living in lands where they women are free to choose their own mates, there those who have not yet married because they are waiting for “Mr. Right” to come along. Are you one of these?

Then ask yourself, how do you scrutinize every single man you meet?

Are your judgments based solely on appearances such as his height, his weight, his manner of speech or size of his wallet?

Is your analysis colored by inflexible ideas as to what you want in a man, with no room for adjustment?

There is nothing wrong with setting standards for yourself, but if you are more concerned with what you will get than what you will give, then you may not be the “Miss Right” for the men you meet.

Remember men are also setting standards for themselves. Especially when finding some to marry they are usually seeking a woman on a much deeper level than just physical beauty.

They can notice if a woman is kind, considerate, intelligent, sympathetic and moderate. Such qualities appeal to men whom are seeking a lifetime partner.

However, if a woman is domineering, bossy, too aggressive or too fussy, she can drive men far from her and chances of her being alone are much greater.

How can you then develop the right qualities?

Developing marriageable traits


Even if you consider yourself to be of good personality, there is always room for improvement. Quiet observation is an excellent teacher.

Perhaps you have a happily married friend. Have you noticed how she builds him with her compliments and shows him deep respect?

Have you observed how she directs the love and attention of her children and husband rather than herself thus cementing the family together?

She has learned that in giving she reaps the greater reward and these qualities never go unnoticed.

You do not have to have a husband to cultivate these traits. You can develop them by practicing on those with whom you live.

You can show deep respect and kindness to your father or brothers. Consideration and sympathy shown to you father or brothers often improves relations with them.

If a girl has a condescending attitude towards her younger brothers she may find that she treats other men the same way and may damage even the most promising friendship.

Remember men of all ages notice and respond to women with pleasing personalities.

Indeed developing these qualities is of course no guarantee that you will find a mate, but can anyone one truthfully say that the time was wasted?

Certainly not! It is the right thing to do. By so doing, you can learn to enjoy your single state and your chances of being happy when you do marry will be that much greater.

If the right person should fail to come along, you need not have fear of being alone.

If you display a warmth attitude towards others and clothe it with genuine interest in those who you meet, people will be drawn to you and will want to include you among their closest friends.

Choice of recreation


When it comes to recreation, a single person can add to their happiness or undermine it.

If you saturate your mind with only love stories from books, magazines, movies, you will only stimulate feelings of insecurity.

It would be more productive to spend your leisure time with up building literature or entertainment and then real satisfaction will result.

You have to be honest with yourself. You should know what will build your self-esteem and what will tend to cause its deterioration.

It is obvious that singleness does not need to mean loneliness. There is much that can be done to fill those empty hours.

But first there has to be a realization that happiness comes, not merely from another person or from possessions but it starts within ourselves.

It is our approach to life’s problems that will determine the success or failure with which we meet those problems. 

Make success of your current singleness


It makes little difference whether your singleness is self-imposed or forced by one by circumstances, your life is by no means over.

You possess, for one thing the asset of time. We all have it to spend in varying degrees but for a single person there is often more free time to waste or to use wisely.

You can use the time at your disposal to further your education. This in turn may open up the way for progression in your career or profession.

Maintain a positive attitude towards your life. If you do so you will not only win the respect of others, but more importantly, maintain your own self-respect.

In facing life alone, do not withdraw into a shell of self-pity. Recognize that even if you would prefer to get married, you now have certain blessings.

These include privacy, time to cultivate talents and fields of interest, freedom to make your own decisions and opportunities to widen the borders of your friendships and to do good for others.

Understandably find company of those who will show respect for you way of life rather than forever expressing concern over fact you are still single.

Can you make a success of your singleness? Can you enjoy life even if you are single? Do you appreciate the opportunities offered by your singleness?

The answer to each of these questions can be yes. It depends on you.

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