5 ways to show you love your children

A happy couple with their children

Kids and parenting

The ability to have children is one of the most pleasurable gifts mankind possesses." 

They can be a source of genuine happiness to parents.

Their sunny dispositions, trusting natures, ever-present curiosity, boundless energies, and deep affection are qualities that make them truly lovable.

When small, their chubby hands invite hugs, blow kisses to you and cling to you with affectionate dependence.

When there are children, marriage takes on a greater meaning.

But while it is natural for parents to love their children, if you are a parent, you must realize that there are many ways you can fail to manifest love while imagining that you love them.

For example, in the past it was said that children should be seen and not heard.

In our day, however, they are definitely seen and heard, but often greatly feared, bringing sorrow and anxiety to their parents.

Very frequently this situation is traceable to the fact that some parents, thinking that they love their children and wanting to make them happy, excessively indulge and spoil them, only to find that they become even more demanding and troublesome.

It is important therefore for parents to recognize that children will rarely grow to be good on their own, since foolishness is peculiar to them.

Hence, love, correction and parental authority have to be exercised to drive it away. How can parents succeed in raising their children in the right way?

And how can they show that they really love them? Let us consider some important key ingredients:

1. Meeting their emotional needs


Parents have the responsibility to supply not only for the physical, but more important, for the emotional needs of their children, and this is on a daily basis.

For example, a loving father should not treat this obligation lightly. One who constantly meets his children’s questions with: “Why ask me? Go ask your mother,” reveals a reluctance to assume his proper place in the household."

Remember, although you may have no one to answer to in your household for the neglect, you may suffer much embarrassing moments later with local authorities, when your child becomes a delinquent.

On the other hand, those who truly love their children will gladly undertake the job of training them, with the able assistance of their wives.

Since the hours a father has to spend with his family may be so limited, he must make the time he does have with them count.

By always being kind and approachable, he establishes a lasting place in the hearts of the children, and they eagerly look forward to his homecoming.

Nor does he disappoint them on such occasions on the pretext of fatigue after the day’s work.

He understands their needs of constant assurance of his love for them. He makes their problems his problems.

When they want to have some toy fixed, or to get some answers to their questions, he does not turn them away with: “Don’t you see I'm busy?” 

He knows that his role as a father, properly discharged, is vital to their proper emotional development.

Children also need the love, warmth and association of their mothers, if they are to be sympathetic, understanding and compassionate.

Since they must of necessity spend much time with her, the influence for good or bad that she has over them is immeasurable.

If she shows herself ever ready to lend a sympathetic ear to their problems they will love her for it.

Everyday happenings around the home, such as cleaning, cooking, and shopping, can be real springboards for daily sessions of training that are more effective in that they not recognized by youngsters as actual training.

2. Spending leisure time with children


Another test of how much genuine love and interest the parents have in their children is in how they spend their leisure time. Is it with or away from their children?

Some parents have adopted the custom of hiring baby-sitters to care for their children while they go out to have fun.

Now, surely every couple enjoys an occasional evening on their own, but when baby-sitting arrangements become a habit, it is time for serious reflection.

When parents go out to have their fun away from the children they are in fact demonstrating that they want to be rid of their children.

How much more loving and mature on their part to schedule and engage in programs of relaxation that can include the entire family, thus drawing the family even closer together!

When a couple marries, they forfeit certain freedom of singleness for each other’s company.

So, too, parents must relinquish certain freedoms for rewarding companionship of their children.

In fact, this will help them better supervise their children’s leisure time. Why is this important?

Well, the minds of young ones should be viewed as a garden plot.

Good seeds should be sown and given opportunity to take root and produce healthy plants before being exposed to the ravages of weeds.

It is therefore appropriate to supervise the things they see and hear through multi-media device such as TV, radio and on the internet.

Above all, parents will want to make sure that the companionship of their children are such as will not tear down all the good training received in the home.

3. Teach them to be responsible


Responsibility for themselves and their actions is something that children should be taught at an early stage." 

They need to be trained to pick up and put away their toys, clothing, and so forth, and to take the just consequences of their treatment of other people.

And since it is work, not play, that breeds responsibility, they should be assigned jobs to do in and around the home.

However, those with too much idle time, much of it on their own or in company of other juveniles will usually get into trouble.

But a child who is trained to be responsible will grow to be dependable and responsible adults.

Loving parents also make use of the time spent with children to inculcate good qualities for practical use in future.

Those preschool years are the only ones during which they can mold and shape the young intellects without distractions from outside influences. So use them well.

It is important to realize that demonstration is a vital factor in teaching. If your teachings are to be understood and applied by the child, the child must see them practiced by parents.

For example, only when they hear “I'm sorry,” “Please” or “May I?” from their parents will children be encouraged to imitate such a considerate attitude towards others.

4. Discipline with love


Often admonition and reason will not suffice for children. Sometimes only physical punishment will adequately impress a lesson." 

In all fairness to the child he should know what he is expecting for disobedience.

Children with inconsistent parents are kept wondering whether the parents really mean what they say.

If from experience the children learn that their parents mean what exactly what they say, then they will be quicker to obey and respect parents’ wishes.

Of course, parents do not have to go to the other extreme of having rules which never change. For best results rules should be adjusted according to the needs and age of the children.

Punishment, whether physical or otherwise, must always be just, commensurate with the wrong committed.

It will tend to be unduly severe if administered while under the undue influence of anger.

The child should clearly understand why there is punishment and parents must be united in disciplining their offspring.

It is useless for one parent to be firm while the other is weak, for one to punish while the other consoles.

This only awakens in children the idea that they can pit one against the other, dividing the parental forces to their own advantage.

Especially the over sympathetic mother must be on guard against undermining the firm action of the father, for in doing so she may be endangering the maintenance of proper law enforcement in the household.

On the other hand, parents will not want to be excessively harsh, over-critical, or expect more than the child can give.

After all, they are still children and should be treated as such.

Any punishment given should therefore not cause an harm to the child’s health and physical well-being, but bring home to the young mind the need for adhering to parental authority.

5. Have the right attitude


Do not feel that it takes too much time and attention, or that it is beyond you.

With the right attitude, born of the sense of proper responsibility towards your children, you can be a real companion and educator of your children.

In your increased dealings with them you will encounter much natural comedy and element of surprise.

It will bring a deep sense of satisfaction to know that you have started them off right on life’s difficult pathway.

And unlike neglected children, yours will continue to value and seek your companionship even as you grow old, a fitting reward for your genuine love for your children!

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