How to deal with insecurity?

A girl who is experiencing insecurity feelings

Have you ever felt apprehensive about your appearance or abilities? Do not despair this is a normal feeling one experiences from time to time."

However, depending on the intensity of the feelings and what elicits them, additional interventions may be required.

For one to bring these feelings under control it is vital to be aware of the triggers.

The trigger can be both internal as well as external. Here are some examples of the triggers:

          1. Disability or disease
          2. Criticism
          3. Apprehensive about how others think of you
          4. Failing to meet one's expectations
          5. Breakup
          6. Envy
          7. Hostile Family Environment

After identifying what triggers your insecurity, you are now in a better position to find a remedy.

I will discuss some of the remedies that can help you deal with those feelings of insecurity.

Some of the remedies may work for some triggers, while others may even remedy all.

Therefore, find out which best fits your circumstance.

1.  Avoid unfairly comparing yourself to others


When comparing ourselves with others it is easy to overlook the fact that circumstance, abilities, and opportunities in life vary from one person to another.

Therefore, our analysis may be unfavorably skewed against us.

Hence, a better approach would be to measure our own accomplishments, while bearing in mind our personal situations and conditions

2. Identify Your Positive Qualities


Dwelling on our negative attributes will only intensify feelings of being worthless and unlovable.

This can blind us to the fact that we also have other good qualities that can be admired by others.

For example, you might not be endowed with physical beauty or have a debilitating disease, but cultivating qualities like kindness, peace and respect, will contribute to a more lasting bond of friendship than just physique.

3. Avoid envy


Learning to be contented with what one possesses can be a challenge in this highly competitive world.

Although competition can inspire ingenuity, if not tempered with modesty it can brew envy.

Envy can have a negative impact on our relationship with others.

We may be more prone to making adverse comments about other people’s accomplishments in order to justify our misfortunes.

This will only alienate us from others and increase our feelings of insecurity.

4. Don't Be Afraid to Be Different


Being different is not essentially a bad thing, it can make us stand out from the crowd and be respected for who we are.

Many famous people like Mandela, Martin Luther and others, are now celebrated because they were not afraid to fight for a just cause they believed in.

Even so, being different does not mean we became dogmatic; hence when reason dictates, it would be more sensible to accept other people's suggestions and viewpoints.

5. Don't take to heart every criticism


If criticism is constructive it can be a valuable aid to help us make self-analysis and the necessary restitution to improve our well-being.

Nevertheless, do not give your heart to every criticism especially if it is just meant to demean you.

Remember that people’s opinions about you will remain just opinions, but only you have the power to change your destiny.

In time you may be even able to put to shame your critics, when your fortunes change for the better.

6. Learn from our failures


Failure can be a great learning tool if used appropriately. It can help us identify our weak points or even reveal if our goals were unrealistic.

Making the necessary changes based on the information we have gathered, will lead to better results and experiences, therefore lessening our feelings of insecurity.

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