How to cope with a relationship break up?

A lady looking at a picture of her ex boyfriend.

Renee had this to say about her failed relationship:

He made me feel so very special. I had feelings I’d never felt before. But then he said that he didn't think it would work. I thought my life had ended. I cried all day and all night. I didn't eat, I didn't sleep, I lost 30 pounds [15 kg] in a couple of months, and I even developed bronchitis. Life had no meaning for me.”

If you have been hurt by a failed romantic relationship, this lament may sound familiar.

You know well what it means to feel deeply for someone, only to have your hopes dashed to pieces.

The feeling of rejection is intense, humiliating. 

As you struggle to get over the pain, you may wonder, ‘Why can’t I just let go—forget the person and get on with my life?’ It is rarely that simple.

Why Is It So Hard?

The bond of romantic affection can be strong. It has even been compared to the parent-child bond.

While it would doubtless take a long time for romantic love to grow that strong, still, the emotions may be deeply felt from the outset.

You can’t just turn them on and off as you might flick a light switch. That makes the loss of a boyfriend or a girlfriend especially hard to take.

A tendency to fantasize may play a role as well.

One study by researchers explains:

Many people are more vulnerable to loss because when they enter a romantic relationship, they tend to fantasize about the future with their partner. This fantasy may include dreams of getting married, having children, and being together for the rest of their lives.”

Such dreams can be hard to abandon, even when they have little basis in reality.

You Are Still Loved

The loss of a romantic partner can lead to feelings of personal failure and inadequacy.

Jeanette recalls: 

You feel depressed, as if nobody’s there for you. You don’t care anymore. You feel rejected.”

Like her, many feel depressed, guilty, worthless, unable to concentrate. Some have even committed suicide.

So this can be a dangerous time for you. A measure of self-love is needed and proper. 

The fact that one person failed to return your romantic love does not mean that you are unlovable, does it?

You can’t really assume that no one else will ever find you desirable or attractive, can you? Do you not have family members and friends who love you?

You are not unlovable, and you are certainly not worthless.

When a Breakup Is Really a Blessing

You may feel that this breakup is one of the worst things that has ever happened to you, but it may be just the opposite.

Hard as it may be to believe, it is quite likely that the end of your romance is a blessing. How so?

Most infatuated romantic relationships hold no real promise of success. People are susceptible to fleeting desires and mistaken loves.

Every year thousands of people marry, only to find out too late that doing so was a mistake.

One newspaper executive stated after her divorce: 

It was a real mistake to marry him. I didn't really understand we had very different values and backgrounds.”

Rushed marriages have a horrendously high failure rate.

So as bad as you may feel right now, be assured of one thing—you would feel a lot worse trapped in an unhappy marriage.

Ask yourself if you really were ready for a lifelong marriage, with all its responsibilities, including child rearing.

And was the one you loved really ready? Remember, breakup of a courtship is infinitely less painful than breakup of a marriage.

So you may be able to view the breakup as a learning experience. Will this experience make you more shrewd, so as to avoid trouble in the future?

Coping With Breakup Feelings

However, even if the breakup was the best thing for you, that still does not make it painless. How can you handle the feelings that just don’t seem to go away?

For one thing, it will not help to pretend that you don’t feel anything. Feelings aren’t things that you can run from or hide from. Eventually, they’ll find you.

It is quite natural for you to feel provoked, deeply upset over this. But don’t bottle it up, going to bed distraught night after night.

Express yourself to a trusted friend or confidant. Your parents or friends can be very helpful in these situations. You may find that they went through similar painful experience.

Another aid in coping with your feelings is keeping busy. You may tend to withdraw, isolate yourself, daydream, and lose interest in life.

Jeanette recalls: 

You don’t feel like doing anything. You just sleep a lot. Get right back into group association with those who will encourage you in the right course.

Remember, too, that for a while you will experience good days and bad days. On bad days you may feel that you will never get over this.

But the truth is, you will get better. Healing a wound—any wound—takes time. Do not delay the process by wallowing in romantic or sentimental music and daydreaming about your lost love.

One of your great blessings is time. There is so much time ahead of you to learn and gain experience.

So use this precious asset wisely; develop qualities that will help you to become a stable and secure. 

That way you will be able to make wise decisions about courtship and marriage in the future.

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Issues that affects your child's education negatively and how can you address them.

Students in a classroom during examinations.

You likely pay a substantial tax  and money to provide education for your children.

In some areas there are new school buildings, an impressive array of modern equipment in classrooms and plenty of courses on contemporary subjects.

But does all of this mean that children going to school now are better educated than those in the past? Not necessarily.

The fact is that there are many students in their last year of high school who can read no better than those in fifth grade.

It is equally true that some students cannot comprehend much of what they read. 

A surprising number do not have a readable handwriting. As a result, the likelihood of their becoming productive members of society is greatly limited.

Why the poor results? What is happening to child education?

What Is Happening in schools?

One reason why taxpaying parents and others find it hard to grasp what is going on is that they assume that schools are just as they were when the parents attended years ago."

But conditions have changed drastically. The average parent would be shocked at what is daily behavior nowadays.

No, we are not referring to somewhat harmless schoolboy pranks. 

We are talking about drug dealing and drug abuse, the drinking of alcoholic beverages, promiscuous behavior—even sexual activity—on school grounds. 

We are talking about fights, knifings—including attacks on teachers and principals—right in school buildings.

We are talking about shameless, senseless destruction of costly school property.

Nor is that all. In some classrooms the days are filled with battles between teachers and disrespectful youths. 

Conscientious teachers try to keep classes going for the benefit of those who want to learn, but rebellious students interrupt, challenge authority and create upheaval. 

There is a tendency for others to be led along to imitate the lawless ones, so that an entire class can in time turn on the teacher. 

By the end of the day teachers are frustrated, ill, striving to maintain sanity and self-respect. Thus, opportunity, talent and money—your money—are wasted.

If you add to the above a flabby credit system and a grading of exams at such a level that just about anyone can pass, what you get is an atmosphere where there is little incentive to learn or apply oneself. 

Worse yet, students trying to do well are bullied, threatened, beaten and ridiculed. The pressures are tremendous to conform to unruliness and promiscuity.

Think of the plight of one young person in his first year of high school whose student identification card was stolen by other students who wrote the word “GAY” in heavy ink across the front of his picture. 

Students also telephoned the parents of this particular youth, and, pretending they thought they were talking to the boy, explained they had his order of marijuana ready—this to undermine parental trust and create problems for the boy at home. 

At times they also destroyed his schoolwork, his books and electronics projects and even physically attacked him in school hallways. How many will stand up under that for long?

‘You’re describing some extreme situations at ghetto schools,’ you may say, ‘but that’s not the case where my children attend.’ Are you sure? 

‘Well, they've never said anything like that,’ you may reply. Have you asked? 

Of course, we hope your children’s situation is not that bad, but they may be too embarrassed to mention what is going on, or they may have been intimidated by others. 

‘But where are the teachers when these things happen?’ you may ask.

What About the Teachers?

That is an understandable question for parents and other concerned adults to ask. Happily, most teachers are still dedicated, responsible people. 

If they have these problems, let these teachers know that you do not approve of rebelliousness and interference with their sincere efforts to serve well. 

They may thus be encouraged to continue to resist the emotional strain and physical attacks.

Teachers need your encouragement. Consider their frustration when they see that troublemakers are let go with verbal reprimands or a few days’ suspension from classes. 

One teacher who was interviewed said: 

On one occasion I went into the boys’ washroom at school and caught three boys dividing up marijuana into plastic bags. I took them to the office and gave the evidence to the vice-principal. . . . Next day I went to the vice-principal and asked what was done to these students. He said they were sent home for three days.”

Does this affect the attitude of students as to what they think they can get away with? 

It definitely does! As one juvenile offender said to a psychologist about a felony charge:

 Big deal. All they’re going to do is take me to court and lecture me for a few minutes.” 

Thus some youths hold the whole system of authority and justice in contempt. Their attitudes, in turn, increase the peer pressure. 

Expelled students use their time off from classes to hang around the school grounds and entice others to wrongdoing. They become heroes!

What has been mentioned so far is enough to indicate why children can go to school and still not learn well, whether they are directly involved in the misbehavior or not. 

For so many, school is just a meeting place for drink, drugs and sex. But there are other situations that can stand in the way of your children’s getting a better education.

Sad to say, some teachers are known by their students to be drug users and persons who lead a promiscuous life. That does little to inspire young students in the right direction. 

Consider the influence on a 16-year-old pupil when a teacher in her 20’s sits on his desk and asks: “How come you haven’t been by to see me like the other boys in this class?” 

More frequent, perhaps, is the “hassle” some female students report they suffer from male teachers who make advances as they assure passing grades to the girls.

Then there are those few teachers who seem to feel that they are on some sort of “special mission” to acquaint the young with “other life-styles.” 

What Can Parents address these issues?

Now that you know to some extent what things are like at school for your children and their teachers, what will you do? What can you do? 

Remember, children are born to parents and within families. They are not products of the state or of any institutions of government. 

Whatever governments may supply in the way of education should always be viewed as supplementary and never as an excuse for parents to abandon their own responsibilities. The children are yours. 

Hence, you have a voice (and should have an interest) in what they are taught and how they are taught. This being so, how do you proceed?

First, sit down with your children and have an open discussion about what is going on in their school. 

What are their needs and problems?

Parents who are concerned with good principles will want to find out what their offspring are being taught or what they are expected to read that may be at variance with such principles. 

Other parents will be concerned, understandably, with the preservation of certain cultural and ethnic concepts that are dear to them.

If you have had good communication with your children all along, the above recommendation will not be a serious problem. 

If, however, this has been somewhat neglected in the past, it will take time and patience to bridge the gap and improve communication. 

Remember, you have strong family ties that give you the advantage. Your children love you and will be warmed by your genuine interest. 

Eventually they will be more communicative. So you may have some fence-mending to do, but it is well worth the time and effort.

However, one such session will not suffice. It must be a steady, continuing interest that you show in them. 

Regularly, perhaps at the family’s evening meal or at some other appropriate occasion, inquire as to how things went at school that day. 

What did they learn? When they reply, listen carefully. Do not interrupt needlessly. Should you detect anything objectionable in what they were taught, don’t panic. 

Don’t overreact or bawl them out. That will silence them. Ask them what they think about what they were told. 

Find out why they accepted it or rejected it. You may be pleasantly surprised at how well they handled the matter. If so, commend!

On the other hand, if you see that what you wish for your children has been in any way adversely affected, it is your right and duty to discuss this with them. 

It is easier to root out any wrong ideas at this early stage before resulting misconduct brings grief to the family. 

Next, to see for yourself what things are like at school, make a visit there. Spend a few hours or a day, if you can. 

Teachers won’t mind. In fact, most will welcome it. If there is a meeting soon where parents and teachers can talk, attend it. 

In both instances really talk with the teachers to see what things are like with your children. Listen when the teacher talks to you. 

Don’t form opinions too soon. Communicate intelligently as to what you want for your children. If you have religious, cultural or ethnic concerns, make them known. 

Most teachers are quite tolerant these days, but they can’t guess about these matters. 

For example, they might conclude that your child’s reluctance to engage in some school program or exercise is merely a childish whim.

Each year a visit to the new teachers of your children affords the opportunity to assure these teachers as to your expectations about your children’s education.

So, while you are not going to visit with the idea of getting involved in a confrontation, or with ideas of altering the entire system of education, there is much you can do to assure that your children are benefited by going to school. 

Just paying your taxes is not enough. Neither can any teacher substitute for caring parents.

Most of what your children need for a better education is available. But what is needed most in the program is "you."

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Do you admit your mistakes?

A very proud girl
The foolish and the dead alone never change their opinion.” At least, so said writer J. R. Lowell. Be that as it may, it is a very common human failing to stick to an opinion unreasonably or to refuse to admit when we are wrong."

Have you never made a mistake? Have you always been correct with every decision you have made, every opinion given and every action taken?

It is most unlikely that you would say "yes".

Imperfect humans are certain to make mistakes, some more than others. The best they can do is to exercise great care so as to reduce the number they make.

You may readily admit that you are not infallible, but when it comes to acknowledging an error do you strive to make people think you are?

When confronted with a mistake do you stoutly argue that it is not an error, when in your heart you know that it is?

Do you strive to twist the facts in order to justify what you have done rather than to admit humbly that you were wrong? 

Why people don't admit their mistakes? 

Some people are just stubborn in this respect that they never change their story. They will never admit an error.

Sometimes the problem may not be merely stubbornness. It may be related to another characteristic—pride. How could this be?

Well, consider. Have you ever known a supervisor at work who makes a mistake and, when it is exposed, refuses to admit it or tries to blame someone else?

Or, perhaps, you have heard a person in authority unintentionally say something inaccurate and then be unwilling to acknowledge it.

This could be due to pride, a feeling that in his position he should not be caught in a mistake. 

Parents and schoolteachers sometimes act this way, fearing that they will lose respect and influence if they admit an error, thus weakening their authority.

Related to pride is the idea of “saving face.” In the Orient some would rather die literally than “lose face.”

But most of us, whether in the East or the West, want to defend our “face,” our prestige or the image we want to present. This is motivated to a great extent by pride.

Some people may, for another reason, refuse to admit when they are wrong. Perhaps they are afraid or embarrassed. 

When they have done something that they are ashamed of, and have been called to account for it, sheer shame may cause them to deny the facts or to try to justify their action in an effort to get their consciences to excuse them.

Why admit your mistakes?

The poet Alexander Pope wrote:

Some positive persisting fops we know, who, if once wrong, will needs be always so; But you with pleasure own your errors past, and make each day a critique on the last.”

This is good advice. It is better to acknowledge ownership of your errors so you can dispose of them than to let pride make you stubbornly hold on to them.

Such stubbornness is not showing respect for the truth.

You probably have known someone—maybe a fellow student, a neighbor, or even a teacher—who never wanted to admit to making a mistake or being wrong.

How do you feel personally about someone like that?

Would your opinion of him go up or down if one day he came right out and said, “I’m sorry; I see I was wrong”?

Yes, no one can maintain the respect of others if he always insists that he is right, even when confronted with an obvious mistake.

This continual self-justification becomes repugnant to them.

It is only proper to apologize for an error that inconveniences someone. It is adding insult to injury to deny one’s error.

There are times when a person may honestly not recall giving misinformation to a person.

Nevertheless, he can make acknowledgment that it is possible that he made a mistake and, if he did, he did not do it intentionally.

An apology helps to preserve good relations with the other people.

Often, restoring peaceful relations simply requires admitting that we handled matters wrongly and asking forgiveness.

The longer we wait to do this, the more difficult it becomes.

An apology is usually appreciated, especially if made quickly. In fact, the sooner we admit a mistake the better.

To illustrate:

On October 31, 1992, Pope John Paul II admitted that the Inquisition had acted “mistakenly” 360 years ago in punishing Galileo for asserting that the earth is not the center of the universe."

The postponing an apology for such a long time tends to diminish its value.

No Cause for Despair

Diplomat Edward John Phelps observed: “The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything.” 
Though all of us make mistakes, these need not be a cause for despair. Would a child learn to walk without ever stumbling? 

No, for a child learns from mistakes and keeps on trying until balance is achieved.

To lead balanced lives, we also need to learn from our mistakes and those of others

Listening to experiences of others whose circumstances may mirror our own, can helped us avoid making the same mistakes that they made.

Often a sense of humor will be of help, especially if the wrong or mistake is not too serious or weighty.

One good housewife was carrying a number of dinner plates when she stumbled and dropped the whole stack, smashing all of them.

At that, she burst out laughing, for it seemed to her that such a thing simply could not happen to her. And yet it did!

Yes, often a sense of humor will keep us from taking ourselves too seriously, which frequently is at the bottom of our not wanting to admit that we have made a mistake.


As long as humans will be imperfect, mistakes will be part of the lives of all. It is important to recognize this fact and not pretend that we do not make them.

Since none of us are perfect and everyone knows it, we should all be big enough to acknowledge our errors. 

Read more…

Modern food packaging—good or bad?

Variety of packaged products at a supermarket.
When one walks into a modern supermarket one faces an exhibit of some ten thousand packaged items—all gaily wrapped in plastic, metal, paper or wood."

What a contrast with the years ago when people went to small neighborhood stores!

Rarely were there several brands to select from—people just bought what the grocer had available.

Customers were courteously waited on by a clerk, who was usually the owner.

Flour and sugar were scooped and weighed, crackers came from the “cracker barrel,” and meat and cheese were cut to order.

Can you imagine modern shoppers in “advanced nations” still buying all their food like that? It does not seem likely, does it?

But why was the changeover to modern prepackaged foods necessary? Has it been in your best interests as a consumer?

One big factor causing the switch to modern packaged foods is the movement of people away from small communities and farms where food is grown.

In the last hundred years or so, more and more people have migrated into large cities to work in factories and offices.

The pace of life has become faster and everyone expects speed and convenience even in opening a candy wrapper.

Prepackaged foods have proved beneficial in a number of ways in reaching these people living away from the farms.

Modern Packaging’s Beneficial Functions

Canned and bottled products put in a freezer.

For one thing, modern canning and freezing make it possible for many varieties of food to be kept for months and even years without fear of spoilage from disease-carrying organisms.

As packaged they can be shipped anywhere in the world, repeatedly handled by many prospective buyers and yet retain their wholesomeness.

Packaged goods are also convenient. Premeasured containers of a certain food are the same size and so can be conveniently shipped, stacked, priced and stored.

In recent years packaging has produced additional conveniences. Some cans today do not even need an opener since they have “peel open” lids.

Frozen “dinners” are both warmed and served in the tray-like container in which they come. “Boil-in-the-bag” vegetables and meats are cooked in hot water in the bag in which they are frozen.

Modern packaging performs other beneficial functions.

Printed wrappers and labels tell the customer what he will find inside, as well as the quantity and its cost. There may also be recipes or directions for use of the food.

Packaging can also be decorative as well as functional.

Who has not seen a wine bottle package? Placed right on the dinner table, it lends a certain atmosphere to any meal. Jams and preserves often come in stylish glasses.

Cottage cheese and butter are sometimes packaged in plastic containers that do not detract from the appearance of the table.

Or, larger cans of coffee are colorfully striped like a decanter to blend with the decor of a modern kitchen.

But here is where you, the consumer, must use discernment. Why?

You may be tempted to make purchases of a product because of its container.

Modern packaging, you see, serves one more major purpose—whether ‘good’ or ‘bad’ is open to question. What is that other purpose?

The “Package Salesman”

The package of a Duzzit  multi- 10 purpose cloths.

Packaging is a salesman. It must be. You, the average customer, pass about 300 items per minute in a supermarket. There is no salesclerk to recommend one to you over another.

Packaging itself must do the selling. Somehow, it tries to stand out and say, ‘Buy me and not the other brand!’

Package design, then, must be clever, even alluring, urging you to buy. And it does sell.

Studies show that about 70 percent of all decisions to make purchases are made after the customers are in the store.

Package designers appeal to your sense of “impulse buying.” They change the shape of containers periodically for greater public appeal.

Packaging changes have almost become a sign of ‘progressive thinking.’ Some adjustments, of course, as we have seen, do provide you added conveniences.

The metal spout on salt containers, for example, aids in pouring. But many changes are merely meant to capture your buying eye.

All such alterations are costly. Dies and molds to manufacture a ‘prettier’ bottle are expensive.

Also, a new container may require new packaging machinery or it may create more waste during manufacturing. It could be more difficult to ship.

Now, who do you think pays for all these changes? You—the consumer, of course!

In fact, the cost of food packaging today may be as much as 24 percent of the total price of the product.

As a wise buyer, therefore, be sure that you are paying out money for food, not just for a container.

Do not be fooled by clever packaging techniques. What should you do?

Be a Careful Shopper in the Packaging World

A lady checking out a magnum product.

While shopping, take time to read labels carefully.

Many buyers habitually reach for the same item whenever they shop without taking time to compare its price against contents. This can be a costly mistake.

For instance, one food producer sold bottles with 15 ounces of pickles in them.

His production costs went higher, but the retail price of the pickles he sold stayed the same. How was that possible?

Simple—the producer kept the same size bottle but only put it in 13-3/4 ounces of pickles.

Only those buyers who carefully read labels realized that they were getting fewer pickles but—paying the same price.

Other customers believe that they always save money when they purchase “giant,” “economy,” or “family” sizes.

When shopping it is good to ask: How much do I pay on, say, a per-ounce basis for the larger item?

In certain cases the smaller package is really more economical.

Obviously it takes time to make such comparisons.

While time is limited in the modern world, a few extra minutes to read packaging labels can save you money.

The numerous changes in design of packages have served to entice the consumer to buy.

At the same time this process has also contributed to what might be called the biggest problem created by the packaging industry—disposal of discarded wrappings.

Modern Packaging Pollution

A huge collection of used plastic bottles.

For decades people have been throwing away cans, bottles, cartons, wrappers, and so forth. Now refuse has reached critical proportions, particularly in large cities.

Of course, the problem has spread far outside the big cities. Discarded bottles and cans mar even back roads. What can be done about the packaging disposal problem?

Many citizens, following on the trail of environmentalists, claim that litter would be greatly reduced if beverage companies would stop using ‘throw away’ containers.

They want to return to the old deposit-style bottles. Maybe you have heard this said.

But obviously more disposable containers are being made than in the past.

But why? Because apparently that is what the public wants.

Despite what people say, their actions do not back up their claim about preferring returnable bottles.

A large percentage of litter found along roads is bottles that could be returned for a money deposit.

Perhaps you have heard others say that plastic should be limited as a packaging material since it does not naturally decay and therefore contributes to the litter problem.

There is some truth in this claim.

But, on the other hand, plastics do not constitute the hazard that broken glass does.

One plastic in particular has been strongly criticized for another reason. Polyvinyl chloride (PVC) emits chlorine gas when it is burned.

Nevertheless, the amount of plastic being used is on the increase.

Without doubt many are baffled by the disposal problems created by it and other modern packaging.


The fact remains that today millions of people do not live in an agricultural society.

For them packaging has been good—by means of it they have been fed.

The problems, like refuse disposal, which packaging has brought with it, must be considered part of the price to be paid to accomplish this task.

It will no doubt persist until a better alternative is found.

Read more…

Are you considerate of others?

Showing consideration for a football player who is hurt.
CONSIDERATION is thoughtful or sympathetic regard for the opinions, feelings, circumstances and actions of others."

This is what we are expressing when we speak softly in hallways or when we turn our radios low at night or when we write a thank you note or a letter of condolence.

In fact, we are being considerate every time we say “May I?” or “Thank you” or “Please” or “I’m sorry.”

The truth is that it is so simple to be considerate that many of us express consideration hundreds of times daily without even being aware that we are doing it.

Yet so essential and basic is consideration that without it life would be miserable. Each day’s contacts would rub us raw were it not that others show us some consideration.

Perhaps the best way to test yourself to see whether you are considerate of others or not, is to check your attitude toward other people and your treatment of them, especially the people who serve or work for you.

Author Frances Benton in his article “Modern Book of Good Manners” makes an interesting observation. He says:

An old axiom states that in all of our relationships with those who are employed to give us service we must be more polite, more considerate, more careful than in our relationships with anyone else. This applies of course to how you treat your cleaning woman, the saleswoman who is waiting on you, the waitress at the lunch counter, your hairdresser, the office boy. It applies also to how each of these people treats the people who serve him. Any rudeness to such an employee is inexcusable because the employee might endanger his livelihood if he answered you in the same way. It is impossible to watch a man argue testily with a waiter or a woman tongue-lash a salesperson without questioning the person’s whole code of behavior and decency.”

Others who serve us and who deserve more than our usual consideration are teachers, lecturers and ministers of God.

Habitual latecomers to classes or meetings, doodlers or people who indifferently allow themselves to fall fast asleep or to drowse during lecture periods or religious services are usually lacking in consideration.

Also, those who mill around in the corridors during assembly sessions, when they should be seated listening, display this same disregard for the speaker as well as for what is said.

Consideration at home

Another expression of our basic consideration for others is how we act at home.

There are persons who put on their best manners for outsiders, but disregard those nearest and dearest to them in the family circle.

Many of these people will wipe their shoes clean before entering the neighbor’s house, but never do the same when entering their own house.

They will have the best of table manners when away from home, but discard them when at home. They would not think of leaving a messy bathroom at a friend’s house, but at home they are untidy.

They force others to clean up after them. Think of the change it would make at home if they were constant and impartial in their consideration.

The house would be neater and relations would be by far friendlier.

Each would be looking out for the other person’s interests. If such interest is shown at home, then at the dinner table one would not wait for the other to ask for the food to be passed, but would be observant of the others’ needs.

The one serving the meal would inquire before serving, appreciating that not all have the same eating habits. Thus consideration makes for a happier, fuller life.

Consideration in public

Still other expressions of our basic consideration for others can be seen in the way we conduct ourselves in public.

Making a show of oneself is not being considerate of others. Speaking loudly in a crowded elevator or monopolizing a conversation is not only inconsiderate but rude.

Smoking in public conveyances or where others cannot get away from you is also very impolite and inconsiderate.

Coughing your cold into other people’s faces does not speak very highly of you and your respect for other people.

There are other things one might unconsciously do out of force of habit, such as combing one’s hair or cleaning one’s fingernails at the dinner table or removing one’s false teeth in public.

But, remember, as to personal habits, it is not considerate to do anything in public that might annoy, embarrass, disgust or inconvenience others.

Considerate people do not crowd the sidewalk by walking three or four abreast so others cannot pass easily or by holding a conversation right in the middle of the sidewalk.

They move off to one side if they meet a friend to whom they want to talk. Consideration for others suggests that one not stand or sit in front of a doorway and thus force others to step over him or push past him to enter.

Good advice for all is to be considerate of the other person’s desire for privacy.


Bear in mind that consideration for others is in reality love in action, our showing neighbor love. This being the case, we should be on the lookout for ways to express this quality.

We can be considerate of all people by being tactful in our speech and considerate in our actions, thus making life happier for all concerned.

Read more…

Negative effects of workers going on strike

Workers on strike damage things.
Strikes, walkouts, stoppages, call them what you may; the truth is they are plentiful, costly, inconveniencing and often accompanied by violence."

Yet they remain the most powerful weapon the labor force has against management.

They reportedly grew out of the Industrial Revolution, when workers felt the need to organize into unions in order to resist unwelcome domination by employers.

From an isolated demonstration in some small mill or factory they have grown with industry to become the highly organized affair they are today that can paralyze not only factories but complete industries, yes, entire nations.

What are some of the negative effects of workers going on strike?

Negative effects of strikes on labor relations

While some strikes come as a protest against some deeply resented action on the part of management, the most common single strike cause is still the demand for more money. This consuming desire for more money is contagious.

When workers in one industry get a pay boost, others are not satisfied until they do too. In fact, a union is likely to lose the support of its members to another union if it does not achieve the benefits its members want.

One noteworthy aspect of the labor scene today is the disrespect union members often display toward their union leaders.

Under normal circumstances a strike is called after negotiations between union and management have failed, using the powerful strike weapon as only last resort.

But so often the workers hastily march off on their jobs before the unions can sanction it.

Some, however, feel that unions have contributed toward this irresponsibility on the part of their members and are, therefore, reaping what they have sowed.

On occasions they have urged members to ignore court injunctions making strike action illegal.

In fact, some union leaders are of the belief that violence is the only method of winning justice for the workingman.

This new militancy on the part of workers is a reflection of the general trend toward lack of respect for authority of any kind.

So, today, instead of having a conflict with just his employer, the employee is often found waging war against his union.

Negative effects on families and nations

Strikes have as their aim the inflicting of financial loss upon the employers so that they will be forced to come to terms, but the fact is that the employees and their families also suffer .

An objective appraisal reveals that the workers, and the unions that represent them, often work at cross-purposes with themselves. 

They may win their demand for higher wages but higher wages result in higher manufacturing costs and, subsequently, higher retail prices. 

Hence, the market may be partially lost to competitors. With less demand for his product the manufacturer must reduce production and may further seek to cut labor costs through automation.

As a consequence, the strike may actually cost the worker his job.

Then, too, when strikes carry on for weeks and months the loss in wages may be so great that it may take years before the worker recovers financially. 

Yes, strikes are costly, not only to employers, but also to employees and their families.

Such strikes are especially hard on those families that buy on credit. Bills, hard enough to keep up with at the best of times, become a real dread for such ones.

At such times, too, relationships among family members are severely tested, for existing problems become exaggerated and the tensions and uncertainties of the work situation are reflected in the home.

Though some strikes may directly involve only a small percentage of the labor force, yet they invariably affect the lives of many others. 

Not only are vacationers stranded, businessmen forced to cancel trips, freight shipments halted and mail delayed, but thousands besides those on strike are forced into idleness.

The method most often employed by union and management in settling disputes, the system of give-and-take called “collective bargaining," does not always obtain the desired results.

Existing strike laws, which may postpone strikes but which cannot stop them, are seen by government officials as being inadequate.

So there is more and more talk of compulsory arbitration in labor disputes that affect public interest.

This may call for the establishment of fact-finding boards, but such will prove ineffectual if one side in a dispute chooses to disregard recommendations for settlement terms.

Some feel that compulsory arbitration would simply produce illegal strikes instead of legal ones. Therefore, the fact remains: A strike is not necessarily ended or averted when it is declared illegal."

Usually governments are leery of favoring large pay increases because, if granted to one industry, others would not be satisfied until they got a corresponding raise.

The cost of living would spiral, with inflation the result.

Indeed, governments plagued with strike action in major industries occupy an unenviable position.

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