Children reading story books.

Learning disability is a term that has become popular in the last decade or so. It describes a variety of conditions that make it difficult for normally intelligent children to master one or more of the skills essential to learning. Such children have normal vision and hearing and no obvious physical handicap. Yet there is a gap between potential and achievement.

The cause? Unfortunately, research is inconclusive. But some findings point to a malfunctioning of one area or another of the brain caused by: trauma before, during or after birth; premature birth; disease of the mother during pregnancy; long labors or difficult deliveries.

Thus, learning disabilities are often associated with minimal brain dysfunction. They may involve a defect in perception, that is, the child may have difficulty interpreting information coming in through his senses. There is also evidence that the problem may be hereditary, as indicated by the high incidence of boys over girls with this problem.


Signs and Symptoms


Whatever the cause, a child with learning disability has a very real problem. And it can manifest itself in a variety of ways. Of course, no single pattern of behavior typifies the learning-disabled child. No two children learn or behave in exactly the same way. Following are some of the symptoms, which can vary from mild to severe.

Visual Perception Problems: “I can’t see the blackboard,” the child says. Yet vision tests reveal that he can see normally. Is he making excuses for poor work? Well, if he has a learning disability, he may have visual perception problems. That is, he may have difficulty interpreting what he sees. Although we see with our eyes, we understand what we see, not with our eyes, but with our brain.

Thus reading and writing may pose problems for him. In reading he may skip words. Words that begin with the same sound may be substituted one for another (“skip” for “skirt”). He may invert letters as he reads (“stop” for “spot”). In writing he may reverse letters (“b” for “d”) or whole words (“saw” for “was”).

Auditory Perception Problems: “I didn't hear you,” he replies when you ask him why he didn’t do what you said. Yet hearing tests reveal that he can hear normally. Did he really not hear you? Or is he being difficult, willfully disobedient?

If he has auditory perception problems, then in a sense he is deaf—internally. He may hear only jumbled-up versions of other people’s speech. The “static” that he hears confuses him and may cause him to react in an aggressive manner. If given several instructions, he may in actuality hear only one. But, then, at other times all are heard and perceived by his brain. A sort of hit-and-miss affair.

Language Problems: We learn to express ourselves from the things we hear. But a child with auditory perception problems has probably never heard in the full or normal sense. As a result, he cannot express his own ideas well. Words and ideas sometimes get turned around. “Mommy, the car is going backward,” he may say. But the car is really going forward.

Visual and Auditory Memory Problems: Visual and auditory memory difficulties often follow a child who has either visual or auditory perception problems. Thus, he may not be able to remember what he has been told orally, or the order in which he was told to do things. When a lack of visual memory exists, he will have trouble remembering what he reads and where he puts things.

Lost in Time and Space: The child with a learning disability may be lost in space, that is, the concept of up-down, left-right, above-below or in-out. Simply put, how can he understand that the shelf is up above, if he doesn't know for sure that his feet are down below? Or if you ask him to put the paper into the box, he puts it under the box.

He tends to have a poor concept of his own body; he cannot figure out how much space it takes up. As a result, he is frequently misjudging himself. Little wonder that he is often awkward and clumsy—far more than other children his own age.

His timing is usually off too. He seems bewildered by yesterday, today and tomorrow. You may wonder if he will ever learn the sequence of the days of the week or the months of the year.

Poor Muscle Coordination: A learning-disabled youngster may also display a lack of fine motor skills. For him, cutting, coloring and drawing may be extremely difficult. He can’t tie his shoes, dress himself or cut his own food long after other children his own age have mastered these skills. Sports are difficult for him—he can’t coordinate the bat and the ball.

Rigid and Inflexible: The learning-disabled child tends to become rigid and inflexible. He wants what he wants when he wants it, no matter what is going on around him. He doesn’t see the wholeness of things; he sees the details and misses the picture. He becomes extremely anxious when the normal routine is disrupted.


“Can’t You Do Something With That Child?”


Is it any wonder that such a child would be given to anger, frustration and temper tantrums? After all, he may “hear” and “see” only sketches of information. He may be uncoordinated and called stupid by his classmates. Worst of all, he is perhaps not understood by his parents or teacher.

Granted, it is not easy to live with a child whose perception and timing may be off so much of the time. Such a parent may be given to anxiety and frustration more often than other parents. Sadly, though, their plight often elicits criticism. “Can’t you do something with that child?” a critical onlooker may ask.

The parent may feel that something is wrong with his child, but he can’t figure out what. Yet, early detection is important. If untreated, such a child may become withdrawn and alienated, never reaching his full potential.


“Doctor, My Child Has All the Symptoms”


So a worried parent may say while clutching a magazine article about learning disabilities. Literally hundreds of thousands of children are being diagnosed as “learning disabled.” Some children, of course, truly are. But could it be that the label is being applied indiscriminately to far too many youngsters?

“Many children are being labelled LD [learning disabled] who are nothing of the kind,” says psychiatrist Thomas P. Millar. Why the mislabeling? “No-fault parenthood” is one reason, explains Millar. The anxious parent says: “The reason my child is not learning well is not that I have been an inadequate parent. No, the reason is that he has a learning disability.” But does he? Or could it be “parent disability”?

Or, perhaps, “teaching disability”? Says Dr. Barbara Bateman, a recognized authority on learning disabilities: “Learning disability has become an incredibly successful excuse for the failure of the public schools to adequately teach those children who truly need good teaching.”

Another commonly used term is hyperactivity (or, hyperkinesis), which is often associated with learning disabilities. What is hyperactivity? 

According to a report published by the Academy of Orthomolecular Psychiatry, it is “physical activity which appears driven—as if there were an ‘inner tornado’—so that the activity is beyond the child’s control, as compared to other children.” The symptoms? Short attention span, easily distracted, impulsive movement from place to place, difficulty in concentrating on one thing, inability to sit still.

“That sounds like my child,” a parent may say. But don’t be hasty in diagnosing your child. The fact that he is restless, energetic or fidgety does not necessarily mean that he is hyperactive. There may be some other cause—allergy to a certain food, lack of sleep, or a hearing or vision problem.

Of course, learning disabilities along with hyperactivity are all too real, though the numbers may be exaggerated. What should you do if you suspect that your child has a learning disability? Seek professional advice. A child should not be labeled “learning disabled” until he has undergone careful testing.

Have a frank discussion with your child’s teacher. Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Be certain that it is a learning disability, not a teaching disability. Find out what it is and what can be done about it. Sometimes simply understanding a problem can help.

A mother carrying a child on one hand and shopping bag another hand.

Do you find that making a living has become harder? Most people have found this to be the case. Paychecks do not buy as much as they used to. Housewives observe that nearly everything in the stores costs more.

The root of the problem is inflation—that is, constantly rising prices. That has been the pattern for many decades now. The rate of inflation worldwide was higher than ever before. Because of inflation, it takes more and more of your money to buy the same things.

What is especially troublesome is that every year prices usually rise much faster than wages and for some people wages rise very little, or not at all. This means that nearly everybody was a little poorer by the year’s end.


Why have prices gone up?


What factors in our time have created this tremendous surge in prices? There are several, one of which has been shortages of food and various raw materials. Too, the population “explosion” has put growing pressure on all commodities. Then there was the huge increase in oil prices within the last decade.

But a more fundamental reason for inflation for so many decades is that too many nations, and peoples, have been living beyond their incomes. This is especially so in the more “advanced” industrial countries.

For many years, most governments, businesses and many individuals have been spending more money than they have been making. So they go deeper and deeper in debt. In the last few years this debt burden has grown faster. Now, the public and private debt in most nations is at its highest point ever.

Such borrowing and spending stimulates a greater demand for goods and services than normal. But when the supply of money grows faster than do the available goods and services, prices rise. Then workers demand higher wages to make up for higher prices. Thus, a vicious circle is formed and an inflationary “psychology” is built up that is very difficult to stop without the taking of drastic measures.


What is behind this trend?


What has been behind this binge of borrowing and spending? Very often it has been selfishness, not being satisfied to live within one’s income. It is the desiring of more than one really needs or can afford.

Hence, if a person’s income (or a nation’s) does not permit him to buy the things he craves, he often goes into debt. But there is always a day of reckoning. Debts have to be paid back, or bankruptcy results. And that is happening more often now, not only to individuals but to businesses and banks. Why, entire nations are now near bankruptcy!

Mounting debts have resulted in much distress, sleepless nights, working at two jobs, bickering between husbands and wives, even family breakups. So while there are several reasons for inflation, one of the most basic is that of living beyond one’s income.


What can you do about it?


To live with inflation, you need to have a very realistic view of what you can do with the money you earn. Concentrate on the things you need, rather than on the things you would like to have but cannot really afford.

In difficult times, hard measures need to be taken. And these are difficult times. It is a time to reassess your resources, time to sit down with your family and list the income you have against your expenses, then discuss how to cut back expenditures.

One immediate step that many people can take is not to add to their debts, unless it is an emergency. Constantly going into debt keeps a person “in the hole” financially. And if misfortune strikes and the borrower cannot meet his payments, then the lender takes back his merchandise. The borrower also loses the money he has already paid.

Even if a borrower meets all his loan payments regularly, the interest charges can be so high that he ends up paying far more for the item than the listed cost. That is like throwing away good money. True, not going into debt may mean not buying some of the nice things you desire. But is that not better than taking on burdens that can easily result in greater troubles?

What other immediate steps can be taken to ease the pressures of making a living today? How about examining some areas where you could save money and that would even do you good in other ways at the same time?


Cutting back non-essentials


One area where much money can be saved is in recreation, or entertainment. Today some feel that they are not having recreation unless they spend money to go to movies, theaters, sporting events or to eat out at restaurants. Yet in the “old days” most families did not have money for such things, and most of today’s forms of entertainment were not available to the average person anyhow.

Such forms of recreation, even on an irregular basis, can be very costly now. Hundreds of dollars can be saved by finding other recreation, such as within the family circle or with friends. Outings and visits to interesting places can be enjoyable and relatively inexpensive.

Playing games with one’s children, or with adults, can be a refreshing break from the pressures of the day. Get-together with friends, without one’s spending a lot of money on food or drink, can be pleasurable. Indeed, when families concentrate on finding ways to enjoy themselves without spending much money, they are often surprised at the good results.

Another area where great savings can be attained is in weeding out bad habits. Many people spend large sums of money each year on the tobacco habit—smoking. It is costly as well as injurious. Cutting out something that is so detrimental makes sense anytime, does it not?

Also, the overuse of alcoholic beverages can be very costly in both money and health. The price of such beverages is very high today, so cutting back on these will save money and perhaps one’s health too.

Many people who never gambled before are turning to it. They think they can make “easy money” this way. Others gamble to ‘get away from their troubles.

Yet, the overwhelming majority of gamblers must lose! Losing is built into gambling, because the “house” always makes a profit. Does this seem like a way to get away from troubles? On the contrary, it usually increases them.

Of course, much more could be said about saving money in other ways, such as buying cheaper foods but searching for more interesting ways of preparing them. Some are planting gardens where land is available.

Housewives can save much money by learning how to sew, and by not being overly concerned about keeping up with the latest fashions. With less concern about such passing matters both women and men could often wear clothing much longer than they do now.

There is little you can do to stop worldwide inflation. You cannot control shortages, or price increases by producers. However, as we have seen there are things that you can do to cope with the problem.

A woman greeting a man with a handshake.

Has anyone said or done something unkind to you today? Perhaps at work or at school someone was rude, making some insulting or demeaning remark. Or, while you were shopping, a person may have crowded in ahead of you in line.

Similar things may occur in one’s own family. One member may speak slightly or disrespectfully of another. Or they may be rude or unkind in some other way. How do you react when these things occur?


Is it wise to retaliate?


Football coach arguing with referee on the pitch

Is there not an immediate inclination to retaliate? But have you found that this really helps? The fact is, many relationships have deteriorated and broken up because of retaliation. An opposite course is much wiser.

For consider: When tired or irritated, have you not said or done unkind things to persons you love? We all have. And have we not wished later that we could retract what was said or done?

But if retaliation to the unkindness follows, does not a cycle often start? Yes, unkindness quickly follows unkindness and hostilities grow. Some persons may feel that they should repay injury with injury to keep others from taking advantage of them. But, time and again, experience has shown how unwise this is.

Feuds can result. Sometimes these have lasted so long that the participants do not even recall how the strife began. Even whole nations and peoples have become involved in this cycle of rendering injury for injury.

How can it be stopped? What is the best way to react to unkind remarks or acts?


Go the extra mile to be a peace maker


Two lady friends with earrings with peace symbol.

When the neighbor’s dog drank her baby’s milk, the woman demanded compensation. But her neighbor became enraged and a knife fight resulted. The two women cut each other severely—all just because of the loss of a little milk.

This is typical of what can happen when people blow a small thing completely out of proportion. Often this leads to far greater loss to those concerned than if the original demand had been granted or withdrawn peacefully.

You may know people who are bent on getting every personal advantage regardless of the expenditure of time and money. They make issues over trifles and insist that they must be vindicated.

Would it be wise to get involved with them in lengthy and costly legal battles? Often it is better to take a loss and thus avoid getting embroiled in a maze of legal problems.

As far as an official or a supervisor is concerned, he or she may have the authority to request the performance of a particular service. Instead of protesting, the individual asked to do something usually is farther ahead by being willing to do what is required of him or her. Thus avoid needlessly reprimand from those in authority.

Now, in the case of the two women mentioned above likely neither one of them would have been scarred for life had there been a willingness to make compensation or to take a small loss. This is well illustrated in what happened to two women attending a public function.

One of them accidentally knocked over a bottle of milk that the other woman had bought to feed to her baby. She quickly cleaned everything up and, when the other woman returned to her seat, offered to pay for the spilled milk. But the other woman had no interest in compensation and the two women soon were engaged in pleasant conversation.


Conclusion


Truly, the person who gains is the one who avoids making issues over trifles and really goes beyond what is asked of him or her to settle matters peaceably. There is real wisdom in being willing to walk that extra mile to be a peace maker.

A young Sudanese refugee girl in distress.

Try to imagine you are living in peace, but suddenly your whole world changes. Overnight, neighbors become enemies. Soldiers are coming who will loot and burn your home. You have ten minutes to pack and flee for your life. You can take only one small bag, since you will have to carry it for many miles. What will you put in it?

You leave amid sounds of gunfire and artillery. You join others who are also fleeing. Days pass; you shuffle along hungry, thirsty, and unbelievably tired. To survive, you must drive your body beyond exhaustion. You sleep on the ground. You forage in a field for something to eat.

You approach a safe country, but border guards will not let you cross. They search your bag and seize everything of value. You find another checkpoint and cross the border. You are put into a squalid refugee camp, fenced with barbed wire. Although surrounded by others who share your plight, you feel alone and bewildered.

You miss the companionship of your family and friends. You find yourself utterly dependent on outside assistance. There is no work and nothing to do. You fight feelings of hopelessness, despair, and anger.

You worry about your future, knowing that your stay in the camp will likely be temporary. After all, the camp is not a home—it is like a waiting room or a warehouse of people that nobody wants. You wonder if you will be forcibly sent back to where you came from.

This is the experience of millions today. According to the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR), during the year of 2013, an average of 32,200 people per day was forced to flee war or persecution.

An additional 33.3 million people were displaced within their own countries. Mostly women and children. As offspring's of war and calamity, refugees are set a drift in a world that does not want them, a world that rejects them, not because of who they are, but because of what they are.


What complicates the refugee crisis?


Immigrants in a camp in an European country.


Those refugees who reach a rich nation frequently find that their situation has been complicated by the many thousands of people who have migrated to the same country for economic reasons. These economic migrants are not refugees fleeing war or persecution or famine. 

Instead, they have come seeking a better life—a life free from poverty. Because they often pretend to be refugees, beleaguering the asylum networks with false claims, they make it harder for genuine refugees to get a fair hearing.

The influx of refugees and immigrants has been likened to two streams that have flowed side by side into wealthy countries for years. However, increasingly strict immigration laws have blocked the stream of economic immigrants. Thus, they have become a part of the refugee stream, and this stream has overflowed to create a flood.

Knowing that it might take several years to examine their asylum request, economic migrants reason that they are in a win-win situation. If their request for asylum is accepted, they win, since they can remain in a healthier economic setting. If their request is rejected, they also win, since they will have earned some money and learned some skills to take home with them.

As increasing numbers of refugees, along with immigrants, stream their way, many countries are pulling in the welcome mat and slamming the door. Some have closed their borders to those in flight.

Other countries have introduced laws and procedures that just as effectively deny entry to the refugees. Still other countries have forcibly returned refugees to the lands from which they fled.

Adding to the problems of being a refugee is the aspect of xenophobia—fear and hatred of foreigners. In many countries people believe that outsiders threaten their national identity, culture, and jobs. People with such fears sometimes express themselves in violence and physically harm refugees.


The problem of returning home


Refugees from Angola returning home.

Throughout the world, humanitarian organizations strive to help those displaced by war and other problems. A major way they help is by assisting refugees to return to their native countries. Refugees abandon home, community, and country because they fear they will be murdered, tortured, raped, imprisoned, enslaved, robbed, or starved.

So before refugees can safely return home, the problems that caused them to flee must be solved. Even when armed conflict finally ends, an absence of law and order often discourages people from going home.

Returning is not easy. Often the countries to which the refugees return are in ruins—with villages reduced to rubble, bridges destroyed, and roads and fields sown with mines. Thus, the returning refugees must rebuild from scratch not only their lives, but also their homes, schools, health clinics, and everything else.

.

Conclusion


Callously closing our eyes to the plight of millions of refugees will not make the problem go away. As long as there is political strife, as long as there is oppression, as long as there is starvation and poverty, there will be refugees.

Hence, solving the refugee crisis will mean solving the related problems of war, repression, hatred, persecution, and other factors that send people running for their lives.

Practicing yoga for self-control.

What is self-control? Self-control can be defined as the exercising of control of our mental, emotional and physical powers in times of temptation or pressure when there is the greatest danger of acting in an unwise or selfish manner.

The value and need of self-control might be illustrated by a car. Its engine may have as little as 35 or as much as 400 horsepower. But important as is the production of power by this engine, equally important is it being controlled, for of what value would a car be if you could not control the speed or the direction in which it traveled? It would be an instrument of death!

The problem of self-control arises because we are capable of using powers wrongly as well as rightly. Even as the forces of nature can cause much harm if not restrained—as witnessed by tornadoes, hurricanes, tidal waves and lightning—so also with the mental, emotional and physical powers we have, if not controlled, they can cause much harm. Lets mention a few of this harmful effects.


Effects of lack of self-control


A gun on the murder scene with blood stains.

Look where we will, in your neighborhood or in the pages of history, and we see the harmful results from a failure to exercise self-control on the part of men, women, and youths in particular. 

The shocking multiple murders reported in the newspapers and on the radio and TV are instances of persons failing to control a strong impulse to express hatred or frustration by murder.

Failure to exercise self-control accounts for the spread of lifestyle diseases, for the many unwanted pregnancies and not to forget about the widespread marital unhappiness, which results in separations, desertions and divorce.

And what is drunkenness but the result of a failure to exercise control of one’s craving for alcoholic beverages?

How often does a lack of self-control account for an auto accident as when a driver becomes irritated or lets his attention be diverted?

Time and again, research has established, accidents are caused by imprudent behavior on the part of “impulse-dominated personalities of drivers”—those lacking self-control.

The same even applies to one’s daily secular occupation. It may be quite interesting or challenging, or one may find it greatly rewarding because of the money earned or other benefits.

These factors may well cause one to become a compulsive worker, lacking in self-control. Such people often become victims of high blood pressure and suffer heart attacks.

Then again, many persons are unable to exercise self-control in the acquiring of material possessions. Easily influenced by the flattering talk of salespeople, they make unwise purchases and thus become beholden to creditors.

To avoid such harmful effects in your life you will need to have self-control on some important aspects of your life. Let us discuss the three major areas you need self-control.


Control your eating habits


A man holding a hot dog when others look on.

Doubtless the pleasure most widely and most often enjoyed by humans is that of eating. This pleasure might be said to be circumscribed by the principle that ‘we eat to live, we do not live to eat.’

For one thing, this principle should govern your eating, you will want to choose foods that not only please your palate but is also good for you. You will also want to be careful not to starve yourself nor eat more than what is good for you.

Moreover, you should also watch your timing. It is known that heavy meals tend to interfere with concentration and highly skilled activity. 

Even as a professional singer would not want to eat a hearty steak or a turkey dinner just before giving a concert, neither should you do so just before handling a difficult speech assignment. In fact, a hearty meal can also interfere with you enjoying an oral presentation. 

Of course, people plagued with allergies or diabetes, or who are greatly overweight, have all the more reason to watch these principles of quality, quantity and timing when enjoying the pleasure of eating.


Control your pleasures


A man drinking two bottles of beer at the same time.

You may derive much pleasure from pursuing some hobby or form of entertainment. But here, too, you must exercise self-control and put first things first. What if your pleasures is putting you in the bad company of people who are engaging in illegal activities or using harmful drugs?

Or what if your pleasures is too costly, injurious to your health or creating hardship on your family? If this is the case, would it not be appropriate to change to another form of pleasure?

Although duty and pleasure often clash, they do not necessarily need to do so. But when they do, which do you put first? Duty is defined as ‘that which a person is bound by moral obligation to do or not to do, while pleasure is the ‘state of gratification; delight; enjoyment,’ a feeling of being pleased.

What will help you to sharpen your sense of duty and keep pleasures in their proper place? Reason will help. Reason will make you realize that to the extent that you reneged in fulfilling your duties, to that extent you wrong and harm yourself and others. Since you would not want other persons to harm you, you should avoid harming others with your passions.


Control your emotions


A young man making funny faces.

Many people believe that it basically is healthy to “let go” or to “let off steam.” Their view is reinforced by role models in the public eye who seem to ignore self-control of any sort, who simply indulge their impulses.

Many who like professional sports have grown accustomed to wild displays of emotion, even violent rage. Can you not recall, at least from the press, instances where brutal fights or mob scenes erupted at sporting events?

Admittedly, it is not easy to control one’s emotions when one feels slighted, hurt, or treated with prejudice. However, a step toward regaining control of your emotions is to make peace or resolve the cause for complaint, rather than letting animosities persist.

How often offenses are only of a small nature, and are solely due to thoughtlessness, a lack of tact or upbringing or a momentary excitement, and are without evil intent! Therefore, you should not be small-minded when it comes to forgiving others, but, rather, be broad-minded and forgive offenses.

Thus the oncoming dark clouds in your personal relations will be quickly dispersed and the sun will shine again. No one of us is perfect. We all have our imperfections and we are all thankful if others forgive us. But sadly, it is a fact that we usually see the imperfections in others much quicker than in ourselves.

Another quality that is of great help in assisting you exercising control on your emotions is humility. This is because one of the greatest obstacles to self-control is pride. 

The humble person, for one thing, is not easily offended and therefore is not so likely to be tempted to act without self-control. The humble person is more likely to have patience when dealing with others, which makes for self-control.

It takes real self-control to keep your cool and to answer with mildness when others manifests rage (learn how to control your temper), but it is the only wise course, for it smooth’s out difficulties and makes for peaceful relations.


Conclusion


Lack of self-control can lead to many personal disasters. During that interval one may do irreparable damage to one's own life or to the lives of others.

Truly the value and need of self-control can hardly be overemphasized. With it you can rein in your thoughts, words and action, resulting in an healthy body, mind and good relations with others.

A middle-aged man with a warm smile.

Which do you instill: Fear or love? What a contrast between the sunny, heart-warming affection of a fellow human creature and the disquieting, morbid fear of another person!

Deep down in your heart you may want to instill affection in those who you associate with, especially those who are in any measure dependent on you or are accountable to you.

Yet in spite of your best intentions you may do the very opposite. How so?


Why people maybe fear you?


A young lady with a poker face.

It is so easy to instill fear if you are not careful. It may be just by your very facial expression!

When you note another person smiling or wanting to smile, do you keep a poker face (as the picture above Illustrates), remain expressionless or do not reciprocate with a smile?

If you do then you may cause doubt and fear as to whether you are harboring something against that person. How little effort it takes to smile, and yet it can mean so much!

Then again you may instill fear by your very tone of voice. A gruff, harsh voice, a hard, unyielding tone can cow others, causing them to fear you. You may by nature have a harsh, rasping voice or may be putting too much force to back it.

If you do, it would be well for you to give some thought to improving its quality. You can, by watching and exercising self-control, cause it to become more warm and friendly. Through practice you can make it more pleasing to listen to and so have its very sound instill affection instead of fear.

Then again, you may instill fear by appearing to be so occupied that you do not have time for others. Persons having problems may be afraid to come to you because you give them the impression that you are too busy to listen to them. 

They may fear to disturb you, although it may well be that the most important thing you could be doing at the time would be listening to them and offering counsel and encouragement.

Are you impatient? That might also instill fear in others. If you get annoyed at interruptions, tend to get irritable, fly off the handle or make a sharp reply due to lack of self-control, it is very likely that you will instill fear instead of affection. Others, not wanting to be hurt or not wanting to annoy you, will get to fear you, fear lest they cause offense.

One of the most common ways in which you may, wholly unconsciously, instill fear is by you lacking empathy and understand.

How often has this remark been made to you, “Oh, you just don’t understand!” That lack of understanding instills fear in others. It can cause you to form wrong judgments, which can act as a barrier between you and others.

How easy it is to instill fear instead of affection in spite of your intentions if you act thoughtlessly or without understanding! Not that you must always be governed by other people's feelings in order to discharge your duties.

Rather, you want to be as effective as possible in the discharge of them. You know what your responsibilities are, but while recognizing your duties, you can give thought to the manner in which you discharge them. You can be firm on occasion and yet be kind.

There is a time for every purpose under the sun. You do not need to go to the opposite extreme of harshness or ruthlessness or by being wishy-washy. Even when there is need to administer discipline, remember to be slow to anger and to appeal to reason.


Those prone in instilling fear in others 


Angry woman boss yelling at a male employee.

Dictators rule by fear. Fear does not build up, and so, as a rule, the sway of dictators is short-lived. Employers and foremen must be on guard in this respect.

An employer might easily instill fear instead of affection in his employees by holding over them the threat of being discharged, or by being arbitrary and unreasonable. As a result his employees may work only when they are being watched.

Likewise, fathers must exercise care in their relations with those entrusted to their care. Some fathers are prone to instill fear in their families. They may demand implicit obedience and the greatest respect, while failing to show loving concern for their family.

In other families the wife is more likely to instill fear, causing the husband abdicating his role because he wants peace. Sadly, even parents are now yielding their authority to children, fearing them. No wonder there is so much youth anarchy in the world!


Conclusion


Among the happiest people in the world, those who top the list are those who enjoy healthy relationships with others.

If you then want others to love you instead fearing you, then be more considerate on how you treat them also. Life is pleasant indeed when one is treated with consideration and love!


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